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An ielts writing task one about why african teenagers using their phones between 2016 to 2019

bray 1 / -  
Jun 21, 2023   #1

THE PURPOSES OF mobile phones use in an African country

The researched pie charts depict why teenagers use mobile phones in an African country from 2016 to 2019.
The initial impression from the charts is social networks was the biggest reason why teenagers keep using their phones. Using phone for phone calls was the reasons had a variety of transformation during the give course.

Most teenagers in 2016 to 2019 used their phone for social networks. As we can see in the pie charts, in 2016, this reason accounted for a half of the chart, then it sightly decreased to 48 percent.

In 2018, the researched teenagers using phones for social networks raised to 51 percent and continued to grow to 56 percent in the next 1 year. Besides that, there were also a variety of youngsters who use phones to send email. In the first year of the given period, using phone for sending email occupied with one-forth of the chart and almost did not change next year. But there was a difference that it strongly fell to 20 percent and reminded unchanged in the next year.

In addition, satisfying picture demand was also one of reason why teenagers keep using phones. In 2016, the teenagers using phones for digital cameras accounted for 15 percent and unchanged in 2017. In 2018, it grew to 18 per cent and then sightly increased to 20 percent. The last reasons which have been found among the researched teenagers is using for phone calls. In the first year of the researched course, this reason just occupied with 10 percent and in the next year, it raised to 13 percent. But in the last 2 years of the researched, this reason decreased, 11 percent and 5 percent respectively.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,662 4753  
Jun 22, 2023   #2
I cannot properly review and assess this essay due to the incorrect writing format that you used in the presentation. You took at least 40 minutes to write the task. Since this is a task 1 essay, you should not be using more than 20 minutes, in a self timed set up. Since you are allowed to allot writing time during the actual test, I do not advise that you write more than 200 words, or use 20 minutes to write the assessment. If you run out of writing time for the task 2 essay, you will be sure to get an automatic failing mark. You have to make sure that you write at least 250 consistent and coherent words in the task 2 essay, which cannot be achieved in your current writing form. This essay will push you towards a failing task 1 score as well.

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