Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Making the band the best it can be. Is my drum major essay good?



dexterletterman 1 / -  
Mar 4, 2021   #1
Dexter Letterman

DRUM MAJOR ESSAY



If I were to be selected for drum major I would make sure I was putting my absolute all into making the band the best it can be. I am not busy during marching band, meaning I would have all the time that the band directors needed to make the Grain Valley Marching Eagles the most preeminent they could be. I proclivity getting to meet new kids, and I could make the freshman feel welcome. If a certain section needs help with something I would be there to help them without hesitation. I will always be available to make the band the best that it can be. Anything that the band directors would ask of me, I would do. Coming in early/staying late to help members or load/unload for a competition. I would be there to help whenever I was needed. I understand the commitment that I would be signing up to, and I am 100% willing to put everything I have into the program, to improve as much as possible.

I believe that I have shown to have excellent leadership skills. I definitely can have a fun side that jokes around but when it's time to get to it and be engaged, I believe I'm good at enforcing that. I enjoy running sectionals and helping other groups with anything they're struggling with.

I feel like I have proven my dedication to the band program with the actions I have taken throughout high school so far. I join as many band activities as I possibly can. I enjoy volunteering for the band as well. I've gone to almost every volunteer event that the band has hosted. I feel this shows my zeal and assiduity for the band.

I think that I would be willing to put more time into the band program than the others trying out for drum major. Conducting has always looked fun to me and doing it is so convivial. I've known that I wanted to be a drum major ever since I first saw Ms. Drabik conducting. It was so amazing to me that she was able to bring an entire band together and make our entire show come alive. I loved watching the drum majors look so professional and so sure that they knew that their band was going to have an amazing full run for whatever competition we were at.

I feel that through the past marching season I have earned respect from the band, and even more so throughout the concert season. I have been scheduling sectionals and been putting a lot of effort into the saxophone section, and I believe that I could do that with every section. I would help sections stay on task or I could help the first-year members, so that no one would be left behind and the section could improve together. Making it so that the band directors could spend more time working on drill and choreography instead of basics, therefore making our entire band better. I believe that my determination, passion, and love for our program draws me out of the majority of people applying for this position. Thank you in advance for taking the time to consider my application as drum major.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Mar 5, 2021   #2
I am not really sure how good this essay is because I am not familiar with the writing requirements for the essay. I am sure you were asked to write about specific things right? Respond to direct questions? I am not sure how well you did in those aspects because there is no guideline for the review. Anyway, I can still give you a general review of your work just the same.

It would be best for you to not use the word "I think" as that connotes uncertainty on your part and a slight unwillingness to accomplish something. You have already thrown in the idea that you are willing to do anything to become a drum major so suddenly throwing that wrench in with "I think that I would be willing" kind of throws water on the first, the excitement and certainty that you first created.

Aside from that observation, you appear to have a strong inclination to be a drum major in the band and, you are willing to do and say anything to get the spot. Your eagerness if strong and your abilities are well enumerated. I hope the band directors see you in the same way. I wish you the best of luck with your application. Let us know how it goes.


Home / Writing Feedback / Making the band the best it can be. Is my drum major essay good?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳