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IELTS TASK 3: MAKING CONCLUSION AND BODY PARAGRAPH



Hary01 12 / 6  
Aug 28, 2016   #1
1. As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

To conclude, despite the fact that import enables a country to obtain good with high quality which can't be produced by our country due to limited the human resources. Import of goods could lead conflict in the domestic value because of the social value acceptance. Import will kill the domestic industries because they can't compete. So that, I believe that import would drive more disadvantages for the country.

2. In many countries , children are enganged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

In conclusion, accepting children become potential labor would give advantage in both employee and employer in short term. Other hand, it would get disadvantages a lot for the children's future. I believe that childhood is the best moment to find out knowledge, finish study completely, not to work.

3. Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree.

To sum up, the idea to integrate social community service on school program would make a great impact on either society or student as an individual. Therefore, I agree a lot to adopt social community service on school curriculum system.

IELTS TASK ONE IDEA PARAGRAPH
The main benefit of modern technology is that people's lives are much more convenient. This is because we are able to do many things without having to stay at the office or home, something which is extremely important given the busy lifestyles of today. For example, most people now have a mobile phone or laptop computer, and Wi-Fi is available in virtually every place. As a result, people able to do their work, liaise with colleagues or friends, and check their emails anywhere they choose such as in coffee shops or while travelling on a train or bus. There is no doubt that this has improved people's lives in many ways and this would not have been possible without improved technology.


However, behind a lot of pleasures which is served, there is negative side resulting from inappropriate of technology. That negative side can have serious and long-term consequences. One of the bad impacts of breakthrough technology is social live and social skill degradation. Technological advances cause people to be distracted and increasingly isolated. Many cases where people meet in a place, they do not talk or just greet. They focus by chatting with mates who are so far away. They prefer to interact via Facebook, Twitter, Path, and other social media rather than interact in real life by talking directly.

There is no doubt that high technology has played in increasing our live more convenient. We are having better conveniences and even better luxuries with the help of technology. Despite, there is negative impact of technology which has had a profound impact on social life.

IELTS TASK MULTIPLE IDEA PARAGRAPH
There is no doubt that modern technology has improved people's lives in many ways. Firstly, people live are much more convenient because we have devices such mobile phone, meaning that people can communicate when and where they like, not just in the office or home. In addition, people are living much longer lives due to the advances in medical technology, with doctors now able to carry out complicated heart surgery and other operations that were not possible many years ago. People's lives have also improved around the home. Evidence of this can be seen with all the devices that are now readily available to people that save time such as microwaves, washing machines, and dish washer. None of this would have been possible without advances in technology.


However, since the appearance of technology, human beings have neglected each other and themselves. I mean that technology could decrease social live and social skill of mankind. We are spending less and less time together in living to talk and interact with our families, friends and neighbors and more and more time driving our cars, watching TV, being online on the smartphone and playing game. In addition, technology could make obesity especially on the young. With technology such as cars, television, computers and mobile devices, has made our lives easier. Consequently, we spend much more of time sedentary with eat some snacks meanwhile the time in physical activity dropped. We use less energy which is benefit to burn fat which causes obesity.

There is no denying that the impact of technology in the world today is huge either positive or negative impact. It isn't technology which lead our lives. But, we are that should lead the technology. We have to wise and smart in using technology.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Aug 29, 2016   #2
Hi Hary,

I would like to focus only on number 1, 2, and 3 of this thread. Here's my analysis towards them.

Conclusion 1:
- To conclude, despite the fact that import enables a country to obtain good with high qualityhigh quality goods which can't becannot be produced by our country(unclear. "our country" doesn't mean the reader's country. You need to be more specific. You can just mention the country's name) due to limited the human resources, import(comma, because you've put "despite" there. This is a sentence with more than one clause) of goods couldcan lead to conflict in the domestic value because of the social value acceptance.

- Import will killis going to damage the domestic industries because they can'tare not able to compete. So thatTherefore, I believe that import would drive(inappropriate collocation)gain/have/get/bring more disadvantages forto ...

Conclusion 2:
- In conclusion, accepting children to become potential labor would give advantages in both employee and employer in short-term.
- On the other hand , itthis would alsogetbringmany disadvantages a lotforto the children's future. (advantage is collocated only with preposition "to/in/over".)

Conclusion 3:
- Therefore, I strongly/heartily/completely/entirely/fully agree a lot to adopt social community ... (another collocation problem)

As you can see Hary, you have noticeable weakness on collocation. Therefore, learning more about them would be helpful towards your future practice. Hope this helps :)


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