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{TOEFL} Man or Woman. Shall inherited physical differences be considered in order to



nlakhots 5 / 7  
Aug 24, 2013   #1
I am having my TOEFL exam next week. Friends please do rate it.

Man or Woman. Shall inherited physical differences be considered in order to complete a task. Agree or disagree?

Inherited physical characteristics are naturally the basic things which enable us to differentiate between two persons either it be man or woman. But it can never be selected as the benchmark on whose basis it can be judged whether a given task can be performed by a man or a woman. I am not at all ratified with the given statement because of some of the following reasons.

I do believe that a given task can only be performed successfully when certain required conditions are attained and definitely its completion does not depend on who is doing the task. In my opinion, completion of any task totally depends on the skills applied by the performer to attain the goal. And it certainly does not depend on the inherited characteristics.

There may be some conditions where a task requires physical toughness or mental presence or may be simple logic. But I believe in order to pacify a task one needs a wild sensation of passion and endurance inside him apart from these skills. It is the passion the rigidity which gives one the required energy to obtain his goals not the inherited physical qualities.

Some of the valiant examples are there in our country only who have the bravery and passion for their duties like Indira Nooyi, CEO of Pepsico. Apart from being a woman she is among the top 10 affluent women in the world. Saina Nehwal, Sania Mirza, Jhulan Goswami leading India's name in worldwide sports entertainment. Kiran Bedi, Pratibha Patil, Sarojini Naiduetc many such examples we can get showing a woman's courage and endurance right from Razia Sultan's era.

On the other hand we have Sanjeev Kappor also, worldwide renowned chef. Atal Bihari Vajpayyeji, Gandhihji etc. So, i can say with full confidence that the completion of a task or achievement of a goal totally depends on the passion, rigidity and skills applied to complete it and not the inherited physical qualities.

shadman19922 21 / 74  
Aug 25, 2013   #2
You've crossed the 300 word limit normally recommended by TOEFL officials.

I am not at allratified with the given statement because of some of the following reasons

"Ratified" isn't the correct word here. I'm assuming you're going for a word like "Satisfied", try going for a synonym.

But I believe in order to pacify a task one needs a

Again, "Pacify" isn't the correct word here.

The essay has a few grammatical mistakes you need to fix up. Now, onto the content. You say the Passion and endurance is what is needed for any job. However, I feel that you haven't developed on this statement enough. You can try writing down what it is about passion that makes a task achievable. You mentioned a bunch of names. But I think you should have given a short description of how these people became luminaries.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Sep 11, 2013   #3
Inherited physical characteristics are naturally the basic things which enable us to differentiate between two persons either it be man or woman

I dont see much logic in this sentence. People are brn with gender difference and accordingly they develop their respective physical characteristics. You need to pay more attention to the first line with what you open your essay because it is the hook that keeps your reader's attention towards your writing.
pijiuwdw 6 / 7  
Sep 11, 2013   #4
Great essay in general. Grammarwise, the other comments already say what I'm thinking


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