Manufacturing Tea: only 2 top leaves and bud are picked in order to guarantee the good tea's quality

The diagram illustrates the process of black tea production. Overall, it can be seen that there are 2 ways for creating tea, traditional and modern method

At first, the tea picker just takes the tea leaves which only 2 top leaves and bud in order to guarantee the good tea's quality. Next, the leaves is put on the racks and air from fan passed through leaves until 60% of moisture is out.

Then, the process would be divided by 2 methods. In one hand, the traditional method, the leaves are done by rolling in which leaves is rolled, flat and broken while the modern method, those needs to be cut, turn, and curled. As a result, both produce enzymes. While those are combined with air, it leads oxidation which rolled leaves spread on tiles or cement. Afterwards, the leaves changes to copper colour as a sign of fermentation. Before being a fix black tea, the leaves are dried in oven or hot air dryers in order to release flavour and smell while those remain 3% of total moisture in fixed black tea.

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What app bro Ryu, your essay is good, i have suggestions to your introduction paragraph.
I hope you pay more attention to paraphrase the question

you could use this pattern :
1. Reserve some of the information, paraphrase and use some synonyms.
2. Overview the information (making to comparison)


my suggestion :
The picture depicts several processes to product the black tea. Overall, it can be seen that there are two mechanism for creating tea which are traditional and modern method, while in the end of stage, those have the same stage.

The diagram illustrates the process of black tea production. Overall, it can be seen that there are 2 ways for creating tea, traditional and modern method.

You may consider my introduction paragraph

An illustration of two different processes of balck tea production is depicted in the given diagram. Overall, it can be seen that the distinction between traditional and modern teechnique is on the spinning machine.

At first, the tea picker just takes the tea leaves which only 2 top leaves and bud in order to guarantee the good tea's quality.The fabrication begins with plucking the young tea leaves or the new growth buds.Next, the leaves is put on the racks and air from fan passed through leaves until 60% of moisture is out.Prior to rolling the leaves by spinning machine, the leaves are undergone minimal oxidation through a slight amount of withering. This stage requires air from fan in the long period of time in order to evaporate 60% of the moisture.

This is my suggestion for you:
You must write the important sentence in one paragraph at least three sentences
the diagram illustrates the process of black tea production. Overall, it can be seen that there are 2 ways for creating tea, traditional and modern method

You can explain the enterely data in the diagram for understand about your writing since the separate two method is not clearly. You can change "WHILE" "Moreover"

As a result, both produce enzymes. While those are combined with air, it leads oxidation which rolled leaves spread on tiles or cement.

Hai, Liv.. Here I give you alternative sentence for the second paragraph.

At first, the tea picker just takes the tea leaves which ...

"First, the tea are picked by a farmer and it need to address that left 2 top leaves of the tea in order they can bud and guarantee the high quality in the next harvesting period. After that, the tea withered by fan until evaporated 60% of moisture. "