Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


The map reveals the information regarding the alteration in Brandenburg in the course of two periods


mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 21, 2016   #1
The map reveals the information regarding the alteration in Brandenburg in the course of two periods. Overall, there was a significant improvement with some facilities that had been built in this city.

Looking to the left side of river, in 1990, there were many houses and green areas in this city. Moreover, it could be seen that only one a big house and apartment existed in this area. However in 2010, the flats were by far predominated in the left hand corner and house areas had been removed. Furthermore, the supermarket was constructed near by apartments and the railway was built to connect the left and right city.

Turning to the right side, by 1990, the school and hospital had been built in this area and railway station was constructed as well. It could be seen that near by the station there were big green areas and several settlements that had been built. However, in 2010, the forest was cut-down and replaced by a labor building, while other buildings remained unchanged.



NinaJoesuf25 36 / 66 4  
Nov 21, 2016   #2
Hi Muhammad
your writing is great but there are some correction that I think will make it better.


... in the course of two periods, started in 1990.

However ,(put comma) in 2010, the flats were ...

... and railway station washad been constructed as well.(you mentioned and in this sentence, so in my opinion we should mention past perfect too) .


Home / Writing Feedback / The map reveals the information regarding the alteration in Brandenburg in the course of two periods
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳