TASK 1: Maps of the Olive Drive Area

Hi! I would love to see comments based upon IELTS marking criteria, and possibly a detailed band score!
Thank you!

TASK 1 (Maps): The two maps below show the developments along Olive Drive before and after the construction of new facilities between 1980 and 2010.

summarise the information

WORD COUNT: 174

The two maps provide information on how areas along the Olive Drive changed by comparing the years of 1980 and 2000. This area had grown larger in residential capacity and offered many new businesses. Overall, it is clear that more housing units and retail establishments were built.

As compared to 1980, the community had 5 more houses, in the same areas with the old ones, located along Olive Drive. The most significant difference to the town was the removal of the shopping compound; a shopping center and a supermarket replaced its place. Next to the new buildings, the old bank now transformed into a café. Furthermore, a new school was constructed in the unused land to the northeast of the map.

Other areas around the Olive Drive had little changes. Some more vehicle tracks emerged to support internal traffic. Only the community center shrank in size to share the space with a small bank in the southern direction. Next to them, the hospital and the park in the north of the map remain unchanged.

• 
  
  

You did a wonderful job in the summary overview. However, you forgot to indicate which year represented the increase in the housing and retail establishments. Remember what I told you about the summary? It helps the reader develop an early mental picture of the report? That is why you need to indicate the year of the trend. So that the reader will be clear about the time frame they should take note of in the report.

I would have to say, if I were the one scoring this during an actual test, I would not score it below a 6. That is because you did a good job on presenting the information. From the overview, the comparison points, and the changes presented, it is clear that you thoroughly analyzed the presentation and worked on presenting it appropriately.

That said, you did have a few problem sentence presentations here and there but not that affected the excellent work that you did in the presentation. I would have to say that I had to pull back in scoring you only because the work you did was excellent for the beginner level. Try to aim for a more complicated presentation next time. Advanced vocabulary work would help, as well as more punctuation variations that are appropriate for the sentence presentation.

Overall, good work! I think you are ready for more advanced comparison tasks at this point.