Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

⚠ A Contributor has already posted here! For more answers, please re-open and Urgent this thread!

The market sales of international mobile phone companies between 2005 and 2006

ainirere /  
Apr 26, 2016   #1
The table below shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.

The worldwide mobile phone for manufacturer's sales in 2005 and 2006 is depicted in the table. Overall, it is noticeable that the percentages of market share of phone companies in 2005 are higher than in 2006 unless for Nokia, Motorola and Sony Ericsson.

In 2005 and 2006, Nokia has predominated the market of all mobile phone companies, with the percentage nearly same in total, it was 32.5% (2005) and 35% (2006). Furthermore, the second largest of mobile phone market was the other companies throughout the year. On the other hand, Ben Q Mobile was the least manufacture sales, it was only 4.9% in 2005 then decreased by 2.7% in 2006.

In addition, Samsung, Sony Ericsson and LG were stable over the year, but Samsung and LG underwent a slightly fell in 2006. Initially, Samsung was 12.7% in 2005 then went down to 11.8%, while LG decreased by 0.4% respectively. However, Sony Ericsson rose instead from 6.3% to 7.4% in 2006.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 26, 2016   #2
Hi Aini, it has been a long time since your last post in this forum. Perhaps you need to get used to do some writings again. Unfortunately, you still need a lot of works regarding to your grammatical problems. I have given you some feedback below, I hope you can follow through.

- The worldwide mobile phone for manufacturer'sThe market sales of international mobile phone companies between 2005 and 2006... (It is suggested to use synonym / paraphrase the sentence)

- Overall, it is noticeable that, the percentages of market... (comma needed)
- ...than in 2006,unlessexcept for Nokia, Motorola... (before coordinating conjunction, remember to give comma)
- In 2005 and 2006In the whole period,(Repetition from previous sentences)
- Nokia has predominateddominated the market... (past tense)
- nearly same in total,it was(you can use)just above / just under
- ...manufacture sales,.itIt(period, new sentence)
- underwent a slightly fell in 2006
- ...Samsung was 12.7% in 2005, and then went down..

Good luck for the next post Aini.
Do your best! :)
OP ainirere /  
Apr 26, 2016   #3
Hi Ichan thank you for your correction :)

Home / Writing Feedback / The market sales of international mobile phone companies between 2005 and 2006