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Market share of the well-known mobile phone brands between 2005 and 2006


Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Sep 30, 2015   #1
The table describes the percentages of market share of well-known phone brands between 2005 and 2006. Overall, it can be seen that Nokia brand had leading in a two year period. In any case, the users of BenQ mobile got the worsen percentages in 2006.

Nokia is the best brand in the survey, this brand not only had increased their market by 2.5% but also dominated with over than thirty percent in this following years. It is stark in contrast to BenQ mobile users which was the lowest portion in table with below than five percent and it experienced dropped from 4.9% to 2.4% in the time frame.

There was Motorolla brand that had the significant improvement in market share. It accounted rose by 8.4% and became the strongest rival of Nokia. On the other hand the popular brand mobile phone from Korea, Samsung, seen lost their market by 0.9% or only took of 11.8% in 2006. The other brands (Sony Ericson and LG) cannot impressive the users and just play at 6-7% in the competitive market.




irhame 52 / 50 25  
Sep 30, 2015   #2
Overall, it can be seen that Nokia brand had leading in a two year period. In any case, the users of BenQ mobile got the worsen percentages in 2006.

you overall is good, but it is better if you write language of changes in first sentence and comparison in the second sentence
hasbi 29 / 42 23  
Sep 30, 2015   #3
Hi...bayuwibowo..
your overview is very good, but, you must consider about comparison or thesis statements about the data.
and brand had leading in a two year period in a two-year period

Nokia is was the best brand in the survey there is no mention about this data from a survey ,.Nokia depicted the highest percentage of cell phone market share, this brand not only had increased their market by 2.5% but also dominated with over than thirty percent in this following years.

there are many repetitions of word "brand"


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