Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS TASK 2 - MASS MEDIA SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ORDINARY PEOPLE



awe_28 25 / 10  
Jan 28, 2016   #1
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singer or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


The mass media plays an essential role to spread the information to the public. Since people are always interest with celebrities' life especially their fans, they have been appeared on television and other media. While, the journalist tend to expose the celebrity lifestyles and relationship as people enjoy knowing about them, I extremely believe that the mass media should inform about lives of ordinary people.

Nowadays, it is clear that there is a wide gap between a star and a usual people from the media side. Reporters disseminate so many programmes about scandals or gossip of celebrities on television and internet. Taking the United States as an example, The U.S. mass media are only focused on sports, the lives of various celebrities, and a Congressman's relationship. Even though sometimes the media provides the important news related to celebrities such as the result of football player competition, but most of them gives useless information like the birth of star couple child. Therefore, it just waste much time and lack sense of journalism.

On the other side, more attention should be given on ordinary people live by mass media. The societies tend to follow the star news as they must serve their entertainment necessity. However, showing the common people experiences probably can inspire other. Anurag Gupta, a 30-year-old Indian immigrant, founded of "Be More", a nonprofit organization that uses research, storytelling and online social communities to bring change to the systems that perpetuate social inequity in America. Finally, he has inspired many people to become more care to others.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that the journalist should limit the celebrities' news and only shows the important information. In addition, the ordinary people must be given more attention especially their inspiring experiences.

Crystal812 23 / 55  
Jan 28, 2016   #2
Since people are always interest with celebrities' life INTERESTED IN

While, the journalist tend to expose

The U.S. mass media are only focused on

waste much time and lack sense of journalism → wastes much time and lacks sense of responsibility of journalism

more attention should be given on → to

showing the common people experiences probably can inspire other (s).

should limit the celebrities' news and only shows the important
Pey28 8 / 13  
Jan 28, 2016   #3
Halo Awe
You have a clear explanation about this topic.
I noticed, only a few of writing error.

While, the journalist tend to exposes the celebrity lifestyles and ...

the media provides the important news which is related to celebrities such as the result of football player competition (or, as a result of their matches)

a non- profit organization that uses research

I don't get this one:

like the birth of star couple child

Overall, you have a good idea and the examples

thank you
vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 28, 2016   #4
Your paragraph in support of your point of view regarding the media attention being showered on celebrities explains your point of view in a very impressive manner. You were able to indicate the shallowness of the news media these days and provided the reader with an enlightening bit of information regarding the misplaced media interest in celebrities. However, you were not able to properly discuss the reason why you believe that media should pay the same attention to the normal people who make news headlines.

The example that you gave in support of your sentiment does not really offer any convincing information that will lead the reader to believe that your explanation is sound. The accomplishment that you indicated by the individual was not properly presented. Why should the media care about what he accomplished? What would have made his accomplishment a worthy news story? Why should the people care about his accomplishment? Those are but a few questions that could have supported your claim that there is a valid reason to expect the media to pay the same attention to extraordinary accomplishments of people as they do to the celebrities and politicians.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - MASS MEDIA SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ORDINARY PEOPLE
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳