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may 1990 was my final in hight school


undidiamaka 4 / 9  
Dec 15, 2012   #1
please can someone help me with my essay?

May 1990 was my final year in high school, and I was hoping that when I'm done with high school I will further my education not knowing that my parent are having financial problem. I have already visited many schools and the school is interest in me, because I am a very good and polite person. So when I finish my final exam I went home to tell my parent that I'm through with high school, and they told me that they're proud of me. Two days later I meet my father so that we can discuss how I will further my education and he do not allow me to discuss the issue with him? So I left his room, and went to my mum, and ask her am I going to further my education. She told me that she is not sure because they're having financial problem, and university process is hard to handle in this type of solution they found themselves right now. But I state that what she mean does she mean that I'm not going to university, and she told me yes but maybe in the future if I still want to go back to school then they will figure it out. After she told me that I leave her and go back to my room, and start thinking what I can do to send myself to school but I cannot cracking anything, because I'm not work. I stayed at house without doing anything, three month later I join one football club, because I heard that if I played basketball that I will definitely make it, and football will pay for my school fees. I played basketball one year for my state, and try another place, because they said that a man does not find his destiny by staying one place. I moved from my State to another State, and when I reach there I quickly get a club I will play with, because is hard for my country to find a club and if you're not good enough you might not see club to will play because the head coach has see where I played that's why he took me quickly. In other hand I play two years before one coach from united state sees me, and told me that he would like if I can come play for him in his school. I accepted his offer, but I do ask him do he going to give me scholarship, because I do not have anyone to help me over there. And he told me that the school will take care of everything. In addition, when the coach told me that school is the charge of everything I told him that will come to his school, but I have to let my parent know before I will made my final decision. When I told my parent they are very delightful and glorious for me. A week later the coach sends an I-20 to apply to visa, and when I went to embassy they quickly gave me visa and school sends flying ticket to fly to united state of America. My dream later comes to pass and that why you don't have to capitulate in anything you are doing in this life. I remember one my playmate told me that I'm wasting my time for playing football, because no one will look at my face, and when he heard that I has made in through he was dumfounded, because he did not expect me to go that far for football. And I prove him wrong by showing him that he is not my God, and he should stop criticize someone, because he never no tomorrow. So that's how my parent becomes happy family in my community.
dharmajblackman 1 / 3 1  
Dec 19, 2012   #2
Your topic is good! But you have WAY too many grammatical errors that need to fixed. I cannot point them all out, take it to an English teacher.
brazilian01 2 / 28 1  
Dec 19, 2012   #3
I agree that you should take the essay to an English teacher. You chose a good topic, but you don't express yourself clearly.


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