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'Medical, nursing, and health care system in Iran' - THIS JOURNAL


shery 3 / 8  
Jan 27, 2012   #1
I want to enhance my writing skill , because i have to pass GRE exam...this journal is only for practice..

Health care system in Iran

It is clear that health care system is one of the most important organizations in each country. If people have mental and physical health, they are able to help their country to improve in many aspects. Furthermore, the more developed country, the better medical care. These two things interplay each other. As a result, most of the governments try to increase qualities and quantities health system in their countries. I want to describe this system in Iran in three parts. The most significant item in medical care is health insurance system. This system covers the expense of patients' treatment. Indeed, it helps people to afford their care. Besides, great deals of people in my country are under coverage of insurance companies but the quantity of insurance is based upon the amount of money which people pay to insurance company each month. The second one is the qualities of health care that offer to people. The rate of qualities of medical care is not high in my country; however, plenty of professional physicians work in Iran. Moreover, there are many updated equipped hospitals in large cities. The last but not the least one is the quantities. There is at least one medical university in each city and there are many medical and nursing students in Iran. Most of the rural areas have a one health house. In succinct, not only all of these conditions cause people not to travel to other countries for medical treatment but also there are lots of foreign patients who come to my country for professional surgeries.
anpan 4 / 8  
Jan 29, 2012   #2
It is clear that health care system is one of the most important organizations in most country. each sounds awkward.

-second sentence doesnst make sense?

Furthermore, the more developed country a country is , the better medical care;the two interplay each other. i guess you should say, the two are closely associated
farajollahi 1 / 5  
Feb 1, 2012   #3
1)If people have mental and physical health, they are able to help their country to improve in many aspects:you use first conditional with if....so you should write in this way:If people have mental and physical health, they will be able to help their country to improve in many aspects.

2)the more developed the country is ,the better medical care it has.
3)most of the governments try to increase qualities and quantities of health system in their countries
4)The last but not least one is the quantities:without the before least
5) not only do all of these conditions cause people not to travel to other countries for medical treatment but also there are lots of foreign patients:because you use cause in present way you should use present form of verb (do)before your main verb as the instructure

good luck :)
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 6, 2012   #4
It is clear that the health care system is one of the most important organizations in each country.

These two things interplay with each other.

As a result, most of the governments try to increase qualities and quantities of health system in their countries.

The most significant item in medical care is the health insurance system.

Indeed, it helps people to be able to afford their care.

Besides, great deals ofmany people in my country are under coverage of insurance companies but the quantity of insurance is based upon the amount of money which people pay to the insurance company each month.

The second one is the qualities of health care that is offered to people.

:)


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