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Men and women should not share the same responsibilities



nghiadeptrai123 1 / -  
Aug 22, 2024   #1
Men and Women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that there is a huge difference between men and women that prohibits them from taking charge for the same tasks at home and in society. Personally, I wholeheartedly disagree with this notion since the emergence of gender equality has promoted the chances for both sexes to have the same social role.

Firstly, males and females have the same responsibility in the modern community. Indeed, in the past, there was a prejudice that boys are better at natural science, while girls are superior at humanities subjects, leading to biased preference of occupations among genders. However, in contemporary context, both genders are given a bigger opportunity to learn a more exhaustive variety of subjects, which assists them to have more knowledge to independently decide their career, thereby bridging the gender gap in different fields. For example, Angela Markel was the first woman in Germany to be appointed as chancellor, an occupation that was mainly held by men.

Secondly, household responsibilities between men and women are becoming more balanced. Previously, the stereotype that household chores are merely the obligation of women, and men should be the breadwinner of the family was dominated in traditional society. In contrast, in this day and age, given the innovative educational curricula, this discrimination is eventually eradicated, not only causing more males to perceive the importance of sharing housework with their wife but also facilitating more opportunities for females to become financial contributors to their family. Consequently, this positive tendency has ultimately transformed the conventional distinct roles of men and women in the family into complementary roles.

In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the statement that men and women can never share the same obligation at home and in daily life because along with the advancement of gender equality, there have been a lot of prospects for both sexes to share the same missions.

Thank you very much.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Aug 22, 2024   #2
wholeheartedly disagree

I strongly disagree

You are not writing in the right format. This is a simple agree or disagree essay. This is not a measured response essay. While your responses are acceptable, they cannot be given a full score because of the incorrect response format that was used.

Angela Markel was the first woman in Germany t

Your example must relate to the previous discussion otherwise it will be considered invalid. In this case, the example is good, but not applicable because you were speaking of educational exposure and attainment rather than political accomplishment.

given the innovative educational curricula

There is no connection to education in this case. So the statement is incorrect. Rather, the statement has to do with gender stereotypes in society which has slowly been changing and allowing for an equal balance between the two genders.
LamiaNoshin 1 / 4  
Sep 7, 2024   #3
There are some sentence making errors like - "Personally, I wholeheartedly disagree", "Indeed in the past" etc. It should be more of a complex sentence. Also, I don't think Thank you is needed on the last line. It looks good overall.
yamitohikari2217 2 / 2  
Sep 7, 2024   #4
@nghiadeptrai123
Well, from my own experience, I think that you should have to fix some grammatical errors:
- "taking charge for" -> taking charge of
- "biased preference of occupations " -> biased preference for occupations
- "in contemporary context" -> in a/the contemporary context
- "was dominated in traditional society" -> was dominant in traditional society ("Dominated" is the past tense of the verb "dominate," meaning being influenced or controlled, while "dominant" is an adjective that refers to a state of having power or superiority. "Dominant" usually describes characteristics or qualities, while "dominated" emphasizes being affected or controlled by another force.)
- "sharing housework with their wife " -> sharing housework with their wives (because you had used "more males" before)
- "financial contributors to their family" -> financial contributors to their families
NOTE: this is just my personal opinion, so if I happened to misunderstand your point, I hope you can forgive me!


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