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khanhdoan_1110 1 / -  
Apr 10, 2021   #1

migrating from a rural area to an urban area

Nowadays, the number of people migrating to cities is increasing gradually. This essay will discuss the mains reasons and then describe the possible effects of the problems.

In my opinion, the foremost causes of moving from the countryside to cities are low living conditions, economic factors. In the rural landscape, there is a lack of many things, featured food, amenities,... lead to the discomfort, hopelessness for the residents here. For example, to enjoy an appetizing meal is not simple for those who live in a place far away from the city because of their busyness, they are up to their eyes in work to make ends meets for their whole family, even there is no time to rest. Thus, migration is in need at that time. Moreover, the problem is accentuated by the economic factors which are fewer job vacancies, low-paid salary, no chance for promotion,... Due to the shortage of industries, companies, or various jobs, the fact that the inhabitants have fewer choices for their career, they probably don't pay much attention to their occupations, they just focus on the salary. Besides, they not only deliberately put aside their dream, but also hardly have the intention of promoting or look for any opportunities in their working places. All of this adds up to the motivation for migration.

The possible effects of this problem include lack of human resources in the rural area and overpopulation in the cities. First of all, immigration results in the shortage of employees in small communities, which leads to the company go out the business afterward. For instance, the number for this aspect of production is 10 workers but presently 5 people remain, it contributes to delay of products and the company will be in debt. People choose cities for their new life and leave their hometown behind so this village can not be out of poverty. The sudden increase in the population in the city also has a bad side. Lack of accommodation, food,.. are evitable things when it comes to overpopulation. Some people become homeless after moving there as the price to buy or rent a flat is unaffordable. Besides, overpopulation still severely affected the air and water qualify.

To sum up, migrating from a rural area to an urban area is a big problem nowadays. It's mainly caused by low living conditions, economic factors and results in lack of human resources in the rural area and overpopulation in the cities
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,692 3498  
Apr 11, 2021   #2
You have made a serious error in the prompt restatement presentation. The instructions asks you to present a thesis statement based on reasons why there is a migration from rural areas to cities. You were also asked for methods that you believe can help to reverse the trend. Not only is your prompt restatement incomplete, as you only provided a repetition of the supposed discussion instructions, but it is also incorrect as you assumed that you were to present the effects of the migration problem. The task was to discuss how to prevent further migration from the rural to urban areas. As such, your task representation will lose points for prompt alteration.

Then, you also have a repeated problem in your sentence structures that show an incorrect understanding of how to use punctuation marks. Punctuation marks as used individually, never successively. So, by using both a comma and ellipses one after another, without any discussion ideas in-between, you have violated sentence structure rules and will definitely have a greatly reduced GRA score. These 2 errors could result in a final failing score as your essay focused on length, rather than properly discussing, developing reasons, and offering completely developed thoughts per topic in each paragraph.

It will not be possible for you to write 408 words during the actual test. That is because you need to allot at least 10 minutes of the 40 minute writing task to the editing, proofreading, and finalization of your response discussion. You need to clearly explain your discussion points, not just keep on typing hoping that the word count, rather than quality of your writing will help you pass the test. Long essays always result in failing score errors. The longer the essay, the more prone your writing will be to LR and GRA errors.