Make sure to not use the task 1 format for the task 2 writing test. The writer's opinion + Thesis statement must be presented as a part of the prompt restatement. The reason behind this is because your understanding of the topic presentation and your interpretation must coincide with the point of view that you have. That is how advanced classes in English speaking schools format their introduction + thesis statements in their writing assignments. Hence, that is the format that you are expected to follow in this writing task, which tests you on your ability to write classroom style essays.
I assist
I understand that you were trying to write at an advanced English level by using the word assist. However, you used the word out of context, which led to a confusion in understanding for the reader. The test looks for how well you use everyday English words to express yourself. While advanced writing and vocabulary is appreciated, it does not help your scores when your word usage is not along the same lines of the meaning of the word. This part of your presentation does not clearly represent a personal opinion.
The rest of your explanation paragraphs are well explained and cohesive. The examples used are related to the topic and therefore, will help you get a better overall score in terms of sectional scoring considerations.