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Mistakes in the tenses, could you check these sentences and their verbs?


Tetanya 6 / 21  
Aug 30, 2010   #1
There might be some mistakes in the tenses I used. I highlighted the places where might be some errors.
''It was Saturday afternoon at about three o'clock when we arrived at the festival and hundreds of people had already got there. I spent the first couple of hours just looking at all the different styles of clothes that people were wearing and the amazing hairstyles they had.

At about seven o'clock, we joined a huge crowd of people at the main stage after one or the most popular bands had started to play. After about half an hour, I realized I wanted to go to the toilet so I left my boyfriend enjoying the the music. It took about ten minutes to walk to the toilets and there was a big queue when I got there. After about three quarters of an hour, I made my way back to the concert.

There was an even bigger crowd of people by them, so I just looked for a tall guy with dark hair, jeans, and a black leather jacket which was what my boyfriend wore. I spotted a guy who looked like this, pushed my way through the crowd and stood in front of him. After the band hadfinished, I turned round, looked at the guy properly and realized it was not my boyfriend! I had been standing with a complete stranger for over an hour! I went very red, mumbled and apology and then saw my boyfriend who had been looking for me ages! 'Where did you disappear to?' he asked. He never believed my story.
Pr09 1 / 5  
Aug 30, 2010   #2
had already got there.

You can say either 'had already arrived there' or ' were already there'

I spent the first couple of hours just looking at all the different styles of clothes that people were wearing and the amazing hairstyles they had.

I spent the first couple of hours looking at the different clothing styles that people had and the amazing hairstyles they had.

we joined a huge crowd of people

we entered a huge crowd or joined a group of people or got into a huge crowd

I realized I wanted to go

lol, realize.. I needed to go to the toilet.

It took about ten minutes to walk to the toilets and..

It took me around ten minutes walk to reach the toilets, but a long queue awaited me there.

who had been looking for me ages!

ages.. no, rather 'looking for me for so long.

'Where did you disappear to?'

Where had you disappeared?
or
Where had you been?
or
Where were you?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 31, 2010   #3
... had already gotten ...

Spent is correct.

were wearing and had are correct.

All verbs in paragraph 2 are correct.

...After the band had finished, I turned--- this is correct, but it will be better if you just write:
After the band had finished, I turned...
Too much use of the "had" tense can get clunky and ugly. So... only use it sparingly.
:-)

The last two verbs are correct.


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