Opinions about innovative developments
Topic: Some people say that modern innovations bring a lot of problems than benefits, do you agree or disagree ?
The controversial consequences of innovative developments are recently under the spotlight of society. While there are some strong arguments that they affect our life in different negative ways, I support the view that the benefits of technological advances far outweigh their drawbacks.
It is undeniable that technology breakthroughs, such as the manufacturing machines of next generation that installed in warehouses across the world, cause an increasing unemployment rate among blue collar workers. However, I would argue they accelerate the transformation of society and in turn improve the quality of life in the long term. Take the same example, sophisticated machinery perform much better than human in areas where the accuracy is the priority. Careless mistakes in calculation can be avoid, and at the same time, they save us from labour-intensive exercises and let us concentrate on essential creative tasks.
Alongside advanced computational capabilities, innovations in the field of communication open a new world of opportunities. Thanks to modern connecting software pioneers like Slack and Zoom, a great number of employees manage to work remotely yet together and companies keep operating during the lockdown period. Another obvious example is the popularity of online learning, some first-class universities are able to offer online courses through Coursera with the help of communication and real-time date transmission technology. They triumph geological boundaries and encourage handicapped group and even full-time staff continue self-development anytime, anywhere.
In conclusion, innovative technology certainly has a problematic aspect, I still believe that it is beneficial rather than bewildering from the perspective of humanity and society.
You have a pretty clear example of how innovations brings more benefits than problem, yet i didn't see you stated it clearly as in "i agree/disagree" which i think is important to write since it is the main question. You may state it in the beginning or the end of paragraph as a closing statement. That's all from me, let's wait for the contributor respond as he may give you more advice. Good luck!
"technology breakthrough" -> "technological breakthrough",
ations brings mo
I think he chooses to disagree already by saying:"I support the view that the benefits of technological advances far outweigh their drawbacks." instead of saying "I agree/disagree". I don't know if it is okay or not but it seems reasonable.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15460 Why are you presenting a negative reason in your first reasoning paragraph? Your essay was doing well until you did that. Remember, you should pick one side, stick to it, and discuss only that side within the 2 reasoning paragraphs. Don't alter the discussion. It might send you off track discussion-wise, which means the essay cohesiveness and coherence will suffer the consequences.
The word "However" connotes a counter representation. Do not use that word if you are trying to create a supporting sentence. Learn how to use words properly in the English language. The wrong word used in the wrong context will fail your LR score if done often enough.
When describing current actions, use present tense language. Hence; "... sophisticated machinery workS much better..." . Don't forget to use a comma after a conjunction like "together , and companies..." Also, beware of the way you use technical jargon. It is not "real time date", it is "real time DATA". Again, a grave LR error.
You must improve your English vocabulary. Make sure you understand the meaning of words before you use it in the essay. Too many point deductions can occur when you do not use the words properly in a sentence.
