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IELTS - Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information


hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Sep 18, 2015   #1
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information.
Far from being beneficial , this is a danger to our societies.
What are your views?


Modern technology transformed our life through accessing information in all arenas. It let us getting knowledge, and data easily and rapidly in few seconds from different places over the world. This offer a question whether these huge pieces of information affect individual's life negatively . Some people consider this technology as an efficient tool to facilitate our daily life, while the other believe that it is can be source of dangers. In my view, this technology is two-face sword, we can benefit from it but with regulated restrictions.

As you roam your eyes everywhere you will see that technology is a crucial factor in different fields. For example, mobile phones give us the opportunity to communicate with other people all over the world, exchange personal pictures and massages, gossip talks, and send various types of digital files. In addition, technology enable the university students and professors to read thousands of electronic precious books and resources, to prepare their searches and theses and to apply distant learning. Moreover, most of trade companies and business men use video conference in meetings ,buy and sell online, process their own data and manipulate it through technological appliances such as laptops and I-pads. Undoubtedly ,this phenomena dominated our life.

On the other hand, we should look at negative side of technology. First, hackers succeed in stealing money from banks or individuals by accessing their accounts in websites. For example, a clever hacker stole $ 10,000 from my friend by getting the password of his account. Second, some criminals and terrorists use this technology in executing their crimes in societies such as killings, smuggling drugs and weapons, and kidnapping by social media websites. Finally, curious children and teenagers are susceptible to adverse effects in dealing with technology by contact with dangerous people or getting harmful information that related to sex, beauty or medicine. For example, I read a story about 16-year-old girl who drank herbal mixture that she got its constituents from internet to lose her weight, and unfortunately she died.

Despite the fact that there is a reasonable likelihood to encounter hazardous events from technology, that does not warrant dispense with it, otherwise, the governments must take concrete steps to protect individuals. First, set laws to regulate using technology and punish criminals and hackers strictly. Second, raise the awareness of people about the dangers of this modern tools. Finally, cooperate with civic organization and private sectors to develop the security and surveillance on their websites and digital devices.

In conclusion, I believe that although modern technology is dangerous but its advantages will exceed its negatives if we restrict and adjust accessing the information.

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 18, 2015   #2
Hello, I would like to help you with your introductory paragraph:

1st paragraph: Here is a suggestion for you first sentence "Modern technology has transformed our life by allowing us to access information from many sources." The next sentence there are some missing words: "It helps us gain knowledge, and data easily and rapidly, in a few seconds from different places all over the world."

The next sentence you should state: This raises the question: Does too much information affect an individual's life negatively?

There is a slight mistake in the next sentence: "...while others believe that this can be a source of danger".

You could revise the last sentence in this manner: "In my opinion, this technology is two-face sword, we can benefit from modern technology, but with regulated restrictions."
Juliah 3 / 4 1  
Sep 19, 2015   #3
hi,
here are some corrections
a two-face sword
Businessmen
technology enables
a 16-year-old girl
the negative side
the internet
a civic organization
Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Sep 20, 2015   #4
In addition , technology enables the university students and professors to read thousands of electronic precious books and resources , to prepare their searches and theses and to apply distant learning

Second , raise the awareness of people about the dangers of this modern tools

My suggest in last paragraph just strike to conclusion,
no need more explanation about the idea.

Above my tips maybe not exactly right, but i hope it can help you.

Good luck!!
irfan727 49 / 69 29  
Sep 20, 2015   #5
ok,, lets try to give some suggestions
here u wrote for IELTS task 2 more than 400 words. i guess that is too many. i recommend you to write approximately 260 till 300 words.

Modern technology transformed our life through accessing ...
better if u change it with our lives
Modern technology transformed our lives through accessing ...

It let us getting knowledge
for subject it , the couple is verb+s
It lets us getting knowledge

and rapidly in few seconds from
information affect individual's life negatively
it is can be source of dangers
technologyis two-face
in this case, you need article to make the sentences well
and rapidly in a few seconds from
information affect an individual's life negatively
it is can be a source of dangers
technology is a two-face

thanks. hope it can helps.


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