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Modern Technology brought more comforts than simple Technology


waseem110 1 / 1  
Aug 13, 2017   #1

revolutionary changes for the mankind



Modern technology brought revolutionary changes for mankind than simple technology.It reduces human efforts and men power in industry.It increases sorces of communication in society.In other words failure of simple technology gives birth to modern technolgy.

I am beginner to learn Essay writing..Kindly check my few lines..
Next time i'll go for Paragraph
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,524 3442  
Aug 14, 2017   #2
Waseem, this is a good enough effort at writing a simple English statement. Even though you have very obvious problems work spelling, grammar and punctuation, your statement was pretty much coherent. It conveys a basic idea on a basic level of presentation. Having said that, I need to educate you about how this forum works. You cannot come here and post paragraph by paragraph. You won't get any useful advice from us if you approach your essay writing that way. You need to post the prompt or essay instructions along with your completed essay. It doesn't matter if the essay is bad. The worse it is, the better. It is in that problematic essay format that we can help you improve the most. I urge your complete your essay for this topic first. Then you can come back here for a complete review and assessment of your written work. Trust me, you will show a marked improvement by the time you write your second practice essay. That is, after we make suggestions for the improvement of your first completed essay.
Katthew Kim 6 / 12 6  
Aug 14, 2017   #3
Hello, waseem.

I am glad to put my comments here. These are my thoughts about your short writing and whether you will apply my advice or not is up to you since it is just my idea.

Firstly, I think you had better use conjunction to make your writing smoother. For instance, you can put 'In particular' in front of secondary sentence and 'in addition' before third sentence.

In addition, if you think about how modern technology is different from simple technology, your content will be plentiful because I don't gain any information about the difference between these two concept.

You had better practice to describe what you want exactly even though there would be some grammatical errors. Since I am also not a native speaker, I know very well how tough it is to learn English writing. However, I cannot fully understand your main point unless you will give me more details.

Hope this advice will be beneficial for you.
OP waseem110 1 / 1  
Aug 14, 2017   #4
@Holt
i am very glad for your comment.It will be helpful for me..
i will try my best


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