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IELTS TASK 2 MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS GIVEN US MORE LEISURE TIME THAN BEFORE


This paper cost me a lot of time, far more 40mins. I need to be faster...
Any suggestion is fine for me. Thank you.

IELTS TOPIC
DO YOU AGREE THAT MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS GIVEN US MORE LEISURE TIME THAN BEFORE

As the promoting of technological innovation, individuals free from heavy physical work, devote to worthier tasks. Whereas some of them asserted that technological overemphasis is the underlying reason of the severe stress in modern societies. I believe the reserve. The reason that individuals feel depress is that the advancing of technological no faster enough to enable to coordinate inevitable competitions cause by population issue and exhaustion of resources.

It is working that occupying the most of our leisure time. If the cooperate between sociologists and governments built up 100 years ago, birth control would come true and the world population would remain in the reasonable and controllable range, demand and supply of labour market would change completely, as a result, overwork time would decline with the less intensive competition. Individual would enjoy their leisure and no longer worry about losing their job.

In not-long-distance future the exhaustion of resources will coming. Realizing the huge profit earned from mining and oil industry, nature resources still badly need today. However it is running out quickly. We have seen the price of non-renewable resources towering. Most of us have to bear higher cost of living. I consider it as another source of stress today.

The advancing of technology allows us to address problem by an efficient such as computer and internet. Technology is easy to acquire and efficiency. It spares time to entertainment. The stress of modern life comes from the problem man and nature.

To sum up, the best way to relax, obtain more leisure time, is steering more student toward science flied. Technological as the strong opponent of stress is not the cause of stress.

Jun 6, 2012   #2
Hi !

I read your essay and I have one question.

According to your essay, your point of view is agree with the question. However, the 2nd body paragraph is stated about drawback of technology. (regarding resource stress).

Could you explain?
Jun 6, 2012   #3
Hi land1111,

The concepts in the writing are great. However, it does not look like an essay. Try to explicitly state your arguments in the start of related paragraphs first.

Keep up!
Hi poterc

You must agree an opinion but in the same time you can discuss all other opinion or one of the other opinion
Jun 7, 2012   #5
Hi hadi1981,

I'm sorry to say that I mention argument but not opinion before. Opinion comes with arguments, and the opinion of land1111 is apparent. Anyway let's keep up!


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