Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Is money a true indicator of the success of a business?



linat1312 1 / -  
Dec 8, 2022   #1

Is money a true indicator of the success of a business?



Success can be defined in various ways. Some people suppose that money is the only yardstick for labeling a business as successful. I agree with this viewpoint to a certain extent; however, I believe there are many other criteria to be considered when evaluating an organization's prosperity.

On the one hand, the revenue a company can generate is the most noticeable sign of its success. The majority of people tend to be under the assumption that the most flourishing companies are the most lucrative ones. In other words, the ultimate objective of almost every enterprise is to maximize profits, which implies that financial gain is the benchmark for determining whether a business is thriving or not. Take Apple, Microsoft, or Amazon as an example. They are included on the list of the world's most successful global brands, as measured by the amount of money they earn. In addition, companies, especially start-ups, can not reap success if they fail to make profits. Large corporations typically offer capital injection for new firms based on their financial outcomes. As a result, a start-up without revenue growth may not receive financial support and eventually struggle to survive in the competition.

On the other hand, I contend that besides financial metrics, customer satisfaction and societal contributions are also vital parameters to gauge a firm's triumph. The company's ability to provide goods and services that meet the demand of every purchaser will create an extensive client base, together with brand loyalty. This ensures enterprises' long-term success and consolidates their position in the market. According to billionaire Richard Branson - the founder and chairman of the Virgin Group, true success should be measured by the customers' level of happiness so that the achievements would be long-lasting and valuable. Moreover, numerous non-profit organizations focus on eradicating global issues such as poverty, pollution or healthcare problems to improve the community. Their success is judged by the positive impacts they have on the individuals and society as a whole, rather than their earnings.

In conclusion, although money is an important criterion to mark the success of a business, consumer fulfillment and beneficial influences on society are also the deciding factors.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15386  
Dec 8, 2022   #2
There are specific questions being asked as a part of the writer's opinion presentation. While the writer did his best to deliver the correct restatement + personal opinion, the relevant paragraph failed to deliver because of 2 problems:

1. He provided a prompt deviant discussion point by indicating

I agree with this viewpoint to a certain extent

which is not a part of the discussion consideration for this prompt. This is actually a totally different prompt discussion instruction so it should not be referred to in this paragraph at all. It created heavy deductions due to an irrelevant response and unclear opinion presentation.

2. He failed to give direct topic responses to the 2 questions which would have comprised his opinion response. As such, the writer did not fulfill the clear writer's opinion presentation requirement for the paragraph.

These errors will result in a non-passing preliminary assessment score for the paragraph.

The discussion format is also improper as the essay base questions are not based on related discussion points. Therefore, a comparative reference referring to

On the one hand

and

On the other hand

cannot be used. These are not the correct transition phrases to use in this case because the requirement is more along the lines of a transition sentence, due to the differing discussion focus of the questions. Though based on a single topic, the discussion targets are different and unrelated.

When considering the basis of the first question, the paragraph that the writer developed in reference to it is not totally convincing because the premise is based on big business rather than the SME's. A big business is already financially stable and therefore, cannot be considered the correct basis for this discussion. It is already a financial success. The presentation in that paragraph is not really applicable as presented.

The second reasoning paragraph is more aligned with the question it is responding to. So this is the paragraph that can receive full scoring considerations. The problem is that the first reasoning paragraph will pull back the scoring consideration due to the incomplete and mostly improper discussion presentation.

There is a misplaced apostrophe usage in this essay. It was used to indicate the plural form of a the word customers, which was unnecessary because the plural form does not use an apostrophe in its indicative form. An apostrophe S would have represented an ownership discussion point. That said, it is important to note that the correct word construction would have been the plural form, without any apostrophe usage.

A concluding summary was necessary in this essay. The writer tried to provide one but he did not use the correct 40 word, 2 sentence minimum format for the paragraph so it cannot receive full TA considerations in terms of response format either.
Pettypet 4 / 12  
Dec 12, 2022   #3
From my understanding of the question, I think it's asking whether money is a true indicator of the success of a business. Hence I would give reasons/detailed explanation of why it's a true indicator if I agree with the statement. If I think it's not a true indicator, I would give reasons as to why it's not a true indicator.


Home / Writing Feedback / Is money a true indicator of the success of a business?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳