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The monthly expenditure numbers among Australian households in dollars per month


Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
May 15, 2016   #1
The given table illustrates the average expenditure of Australian household in dollar per month between 1991 and 2001. It is noticeable that the demand for non-essential goods and services was by far the greatest of the six types of requirements while the figure for clothing showed the least over the timeframe.

According to the data, the requirement for non-essential goods and services stood at 250 and increased to 270 in 2001, and predominated other necessities throughout the period. The number of food increased slightly and just over at 160, a 5-dollar rise in ten years. The necessity for housing followed the similar pattern, stood at 95 and rose to 100 after the following years. However, the electricity and water experienced a significant rise from 75 to 120 at the end of period.

On the contrary, the remaining requirements witnessed a decline trend. There was a sharp fall in the requirement for clothing, beginning the period at 30 and fall to 20 during the year 1991 to 2001. The necessity for transport saw a significant decrease, rom 70 to 45 at the remaining of time.



ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
May 15, 2016   #2
Nurul, I would like to focus on grammatical range and accuracy scoring aspect in IELTS writing task 1. You can notice some corrections and feedback below:

- Overall, it is noticeable that the... (cohesive devices / transitional signals are essentially needed to address the reader to the right meaning)
- ...types of requirements, (comma needed) while the figure...
- ...and predominatedwhich dominated other necessities throughout the period.
- ...slightly andjust over at 160, at approximately 5-dollar rise in ten years.
- ...and rose to 100 afterin the following years.
- ...75 to 120 at the end of the period.
- There was a sharp fall in the requirement forof clothing, beginning the periodwhich started at 30 and thenfallfell to 20...
- ...decrease, romfrom 70 to 45 at the...

There you are Nurul, I hope my feedback and insights towards your writing can be fruitful in enhancing your writing skill. Good Luck for the next practice :)
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 16, 2016   #3
Hi Nurul, here's another take on your analysis.

- in dollars per month between

- andthis findings predominated
- a 5-dollar riseraise in ten years.

- f rom 70 to 45 atwith the remaining of time.

There you have it Nurul, as you can see, there's not much corrections needed in this analysis.
I must say it is written well, you were able to showcase an accurate analysis, the details are well elaborated
and more importantly, the facts are very evident to the analysis, you made sure that the figures also transpired
in the flow of the essay, the sequence is very clear, this assured the smooth delivery of information through out the essay.

Good job! Keep writing.


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