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Motorways reduce time and distance of arriving to other cities, but they are also dangerous


pluskid 2 / 5  
Oct 14, 2016   #1
IELTS: Writing Task 2 : Problem and Solutions Of Motorways

In over recent years many countries have decided to develop their motorways, which as a result they will able to reduce time and distance of arriving to other cities.I share opinion of some people who say motorways involve some problems.

firstly, the most outstanding problem is environment destruction; which means the governments may cut trees down if they direction cross among the trees. one solution that may works for this problem is that governments focus on area, which the least damages for environment.

In addition, highways some times are dangerous.For example, if driver drove quickly and recklessly, there would occur an accident.In my opinion this problem would be solve if cars companies embedded an intelligence system that could control cars' speed in different situations and also governments have an striking role in this problem, they can introduce limitation rules to decline bad events.

lastly, since motorways are very queit and vast, people rather dirve own cars instead of public transportation this increase can lead to more gas consumption and this is one of pollution causes. I think to tackle this problem government should increase tax of driving in motorways alone.

To conclude, i believe motorways although have a lots of benefit but there are some problems: environment devastation, dangerous due to high speed, and a growth of using own cars. Yet there are some simple cures for them such as concentrate on district with the least damages, setting the limitation rules, and increasing the rate of tax respectively.

bayuindraa - / 1 1  
Oct 14, 2016   #2
Hey pluskid, I try to divide and to comment into several part of your essay,

1.Introduction - your introduction is good enough but there are a few mistake in grammar
- use punctuation, (Getting a good result in your IELTS writing test will depend on your punctuation)
In over recent years, many countries.......
- be careful with preposition collocation :)
they will able to reduce time and distance of arriving to (arriving at/in) other cities.I share (an/the) opinion of some ...

2. Body - You need to make it longer :)
- Use article to make it clear
... governments focus on (optional) The/an area, which the least damages for The/an environment.
-misspelling & Verb d/ed
In addition, highways some times(misspelling : without space) are dangerous.
In my opinion ,(remember punctuation) this problem would be solve(solved) if cars companies embedded (...) and also governments have ana striking role in this problem...
OP pluskid 2 / 5  
Oct 14, 2016   #3
@bayuindraa ... I appreciate Ż\_(ツ)_/Ż
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Oct 15, 2016   #4
Hello pluskid! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

"In over recent years(,) many countries have ..." Think about use a comma after describing year in the first sentences, such as 'In 2016, ....".

"In this essay, I will share my opinions of some people who ...".

Be carefull with Capital words in the first sentences, such as 'firstly' and 'lastly'.

"... which means thesome governments may cut trees down if theythe direction across among the trees".

"one solution that may works for this..."

"In addition, the highways some times(without any space I think) are dangerous".

"... problem would be solved if the cars companies..."

"lastly, since motorways are very queit and vast (?)..." Maybe 'since motorways are very quite big/ large/ vast'

"... government should increase the tax of driving in motorways alone ".

"To conclude, iI believed thatalthough motorways although have a lots ofmore(avoid using a lot of in the writting essay) benefit(,)but(after using although, you do not need to write 'but' because 'although' has showed that there is a contrast sentence) there are some problems: (...), and a growth of using own cars.
OP pluskid 2 / 5  
Oct 15, 2016   #5
over recent year

thank you very much :)
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Oct 15, 2016   #6
Hi Danial, I hope it's not too late for a few additional enhancements below;

- In overthe recent years
- which as a result they will able to reduce
- time and distance ofin arriving
- to other citiesplaces .
- I would like to share my opinion
- ofon why some people who say motorways - involvecan stir up some problems.

- firstlyFirst , the most outstanding
- problem is environmental destruction;
- which means the governments may cut down trees down
- if theythe direction of the motorway wil come acrosscross among the trees.
- one solution that may worksfor this problem is thatwith the governmentsis to focus onin an area, whichwith the least damages for environment.

There you have it Danial, I hope the corrections are still very valuable to your revision.
OP pluskid 2 / 5  
Oct 15, 2016   #7
thank u it was on time
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Oct 15, 2016   #8
Oh that's great to hear, Danial!
There's nothing more than a word of approval and appreciation of our inputs here on EF. I do hope that we will be able to read and review more of your writing projects here on EF. As you know, we aim at providing you with most comprehensive and objective feedback, in order for you to create an even stronger essay or strengthen an already strong writing project.

Now, for future writing reference, it will help if you review the English language rules from time to time as this keep you abreast to any updates of the English language rules, reading more often will also do you a lot of good, this will open your eyes to a whole lot of words that you may later on, use in your writing projects and just about anything that you want to write.

Lastly, a healthy comparison of your articles, may it be with your classmates, friends or siblings will also hone and develop your sportsmanship in the writing field, it will also let you see different options and approach in writing.

'till your next writing project, keep writing!


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