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Movies and TV have a cumulative impact by unconsciously shape people's insights and behaviors


zyber2222 1 / -  
Jun 21, 2016   #1
Your suggestion will be highly appreciated.

(TOEFL) How do movies and television influence people's behavior?

Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.


There is more and more family having television at home and people are more willing to pay for seeing movies. This enable most people to have fun. I think movies and television have a cumulative impact by unconsciously shape people's insights and behaviors. To develop my view, I will discuss the negative impacts and the positive impacts which cannot be overlooked.

It is true that mass media, including television and movies, have negative influence on children and teenagers. Watching television or movies outrageously may harm their physical health like myopia and obesity. Excessive exposure to violent and sexual program harms their mental health and makes their value and behaviors aggressive.

However, television and movies positively influence people's behaviors. Compared to drinking and smoking, watching TV or movies is a more healthy leisure. Compared again to shopping or golfing, it is an affordable leisure. Moreover, watching TV or movies with friends and family enhance the bond.

Next, both television and movies educate their audience. If people want to learn how to cook, there are plenty of cooking show teaching different kinds of dishes. There are also many nature programs introducing the wildlife around the world or various environment. Audience can even learn the life style like how to dress fashionably, how to save money, and how to eat healthy.

Besides leisure and education benefits, television and movies also act as a cultural mover. Internationally, holly wood and Disney channel colonize viewers without arm force. In Taiwan, movies directed by Ang Lee such as Pushing Hands, and The Wedding Banquet, promote Taiwanese culture and enhance prestige of Taiwan. Recently, municipal office even assists filmmaking to advertise the local features.

To conclude, movies and TV not only have negative impacts but also have positive influence in areas like leisure, education, and culture. In my opinion, it is advised that people minimize the harmful effects.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jun 22, 2016   #2
Hi Phoenix, here's my contributions towards your essay development. I hope you can follow through my feedback. You can see the detailed descriptions of my feedback below:

1st paragraph:
-There isaremore and morea growing number of familieshavingwho have television at home, and people are more willing to pay for seeingwatching movies.

- This enableS most people to have fun.
- ...I will discuss the negative impacts and the positive impacts ... (I think it is necessary to make an outline (mention keywords or key-phrase) about this statement in order to make a strong introduction)

3rd paragraph:
- Moreover, watching TV or movies with friends and family enhance the bond. (how can watching TV or movies with friends and family can enhance the bond? need more elaboration I think)

4th paragraph:
- If people want to learn how to cook, there are plenty of cooking showS teaching the viewers to cook/make different kinds of dishes.
- There are also many nature programs on TV introducing the wildlife around the world or various environmentS .

6th paragraph:
- it is advised that people should minimize the harmful effects.

However, I think 6 (short) paragraphs are inadequately covered all the necessary information that you need to deliver. Perhaps, the recommended structure would be 1 strong introduction paragraph, 2 main body paragraphs (discussing both sides), and 1 conclusion paragraph.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 22, 2016   #3
HI Phoenix, first of all, thank you adding this website as your credible source of feedback in your writing projects.
To start with the modifications, I must say that your approach on this TOEFL task is not at par with the standards of of TOEFL, don't get me wrong, I'm not an expert in TOEFL standards but what I know is enough to say that your work needs a lot of modifications. The good news is, everything can be learned and coupled with practice plus EF, you should be able to get better.

Also, please find a few corrections below;

- There isare more and
- moreever willing to
- pay for seeing movies.
- This enables most people
- shapeshaping people's insight
- To developfurther discuss my view,
- I will discusshighlight the
- negative impacts and the positive impacts
- whichthat cannot be overlooked.

I hope the above insights and modifications are useful.


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