[IELTS Task 2]Should museums charge for admission

Question

Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

My answer

Should museums charge for admission

It is controversial that whether museums should be freely open to public - some of them already do, while others do not. In my own opinion, having museums that are free of charge always comes with a lot of benefits.

Firstly, museums always play an important role in not only managing the collections but also educating people, especially the young students, who can hardly afford the tickets. As an art student myself, there has always been mesmerizing experiences for me to visit museums where I got inspiration and motivation. It would be a heavy burden to go to museums with admission charge every week, for many students just like me.

Furthermore, free museums may seem much more accessible to the public when many people still don't have the habits to visit art exhibits regularly and don't know why they should pay for them. Unless the museum is known by everyone and praised everywhere, charging from people would greatly reduce its attractiveness to most of the public, and thus making itself harder to survive without support from the society.

Someone may argue that the funds from visitors are important for museums to obtain and maintain. However, the problem could be more easily solved by demanding more financial help from charities and the governments. In conclusion, there are much more advantages than disadvantages, for both the public and the museums, to have free admission for visiting.

Jiawen, your paraphrasing of the prompt requirements is misrepresenting the original intent of the writer and also, incomplete in presentation. There is no controversy regarding this discussion and yet, there seems to be a trend among the Chinese students towards "sensationalizing" the prompt requirements. These are academic discussions. There may be debates but not controversies. It is important that you reflect the original sentiment and intent of the writer. A good paraphrase is one that does not alter the original message of the previous writer but merely, relays it using the most accurate methods possible. Take for example the method by which I paraphrased this prompt:

There are a number of museums that charge admission fees from its visitors. Then there are some museums that allow "free of charge" admission to those that wish to see their exhibits. Some people believe that there are advantages to the charging of museum entrance fees and that these negate the disadvantages it may pose to the visitors. In this essay, I will discuss whether charging admission fees have more advantages than disadvantages for the museum itself and its visitors.

Notice the sense of analysis regarding the instructions and topic for discussion? These are the elements that the examiner will be looking for in the paraphrased opening statement. This type of presentation allows you the opportunity to show off your English comprehension skills, which in turn, increases your Task Accuracy score. Once you get a high TA score, the rest of the scores will normally match that as well.

The essay that you wrote is incomplete because all you have are body paragraphs after the inaccurate paraphrasing that you presented. What is missing in the essay is the concluding statement. The wrap up of the discussion normally found in the 5th paragraph is not represented in this essay. Therefore, in terms of TA, you will be losing major points.

Your discussion is sound and relevant. I will accept these are being highly analytical of the issue and proof of your English comprehension skills to a certain extent. I hope that you can expand these skills towards the problem points that I pointed out in the earlier part of my observation. Do that and you are guaranteed to pass the test.