I wrote a narrative essay about the time I went on a date with my current boyfriend. I need it revised to show my professor, please & thank you.
"Shelby"
He was something else; a dreamer, so to say. The night I spent with him seemed endless and it was the time where I experienced magic, our magic. It was the start of my affection; my love for shelby. I encountered myself with such a lovely being, seeing new possibilities.
It was a Saturdays evening and the boy of my dreams was taking me out. Tall and thin, pale, dark curly hair, and with beautiful hazel nut eyes; He was doll. I embellished myself ready. I was nervous; I wondered for the unexpected. My phone rang,I knew it was him. "Hey man, I'm outside", said Shelby. "Ok!" I replied. It didn't take much to get me down the stairs out the door. There he was. I hopped into his ride and off we went.
At 8 P.M on a Saturday night, we found ourselves cruising the streets of our hometown. I could feel the punk rock-ness. I felt like as if I were in a movie, playing as a teenage rebel; blasting music from his car radio. The street lights stood out more, creating a scene. It gave off kaleidoscope patterns; giving life to the moment. Talking about art and music never got old though; We are artists, ordinarily; We're more like flower childern. We were learning from each other, because we were different from most people and we knew about alot of things that those people don't know about; interesting things, I believed. I felt like if I was expanding with him, I felt unique. He then asked, "Do you want come over to my house to paint with me". I couldn't believe it, but the question felt comforting. "Yeah, sure" I answered. "Cool," he said, "let's go by the drive in first."
He bought me cherry slushy before we arrived to the infamous orange house. We went to his room where he took out a large canvas with water colors. "For the both of us", he said, "We can just do whatever, man". Whatever, I thought. The definition to "doing whatever," (even if what he said wasn't really all that significant) meant to me that we didn't have to try hard to enjoy each other's company. It was natural. I am a shy girl; I get intimidated easily. But he was always so calm, patient with me. Which did good for me, especially in those times. Colorful splashes blooming like we were as well. The painting turned out to this rainbow paradise; A paradise that only me and him existed in. What an interesting moment in time. It felt like forever but time was actually flying by. I didn't even notice it, or cared; I didn't even care if I got in trouble with mother for coming home late. I wanted to be with him forever.
We put aside our colorful landscape to dry, and he turned off the lights of his room and turned on his lava lamp. We found ourselves laying on his floor; in his glowing room, listening to ambient music. We then looked at each other; he leaned in to my face. We kissed. He looked at me, his eyes; he was gorgeous. He then smiled again, and kissed me again, and again, and again. We didn't really stop until I had ten missed calls from mother; even then we didn't really stop. We ended up rushing out of his orange love temple,and went straight home. We parked infront my house and looked at each other. "Next time I see you, I'll give you the painting", he said. "Alright", I responded. He kissed me one last time. I got out of the car fast and rushed into my house. What a night; but was it perfect.
Even with all the scolding I had to deal with from my mother, I wasn't upset; I was still mesmerized by shelby; It was worth it. Beautiful moments you can cherish and maybe paint potraits of? Yes, It definitely was worthwhile, and unforgettable. A wonderful time.
"Shelby"
He was something else; a dreamer, so to say. The night I spent with him seemed endless and it was the time where I experienced magic, our magic. It was the start of my affection; my love for shelby. I encountered myself with such a lovely being, seeing new possibilities.
It was a Saturdays evening and the boy of my dreams was taking me out. Tall and thin, pale, dark curly hair, and with beautiful hazel nut eyes; He was doll. I embellished myself ready. I was nervous; I wondered for the unexpected. My phone rang,I knew it was him. "Hey man, I'm outside", said Shelby. "Ok!" I replied. It didn't take much to get me down the stairs out the door. There he was. I hopped into his ride and off we went.
At 8 P.M on a Saturday night, we found ourselves cruising the streets of our hometown. I could feel the punk rock-ness. I felt like as if I were in a movie, playing as a teenage rebel; blasting music from his car radio. The street lights stood out more, creating a scene. It gave off kaleidoscope patterns; giving life to the moment. Talking about art and music never got old though; We are artists, ordinarily; We're more like flower childern. We were learning from each other, because we were different from most people and we knew about alot of things that those people don't know about; interesting things, I believed. I felt like if I was expanding with him, I felt unique. He then asked, "Do you want come over to my house to paint with me". I couldn't believe it, but the question felt comforting. "Yeah, sure" I answered. "Cool," he said, "let's go by the drive in first."
He bought me cherry slushy before we arrived to the infamous orange house. We went to his room where he took out a large canvas with water colors. "For the both of us", he said, "We can just do whatever, man". Whatever, I thought. The definition to "doing whatever," (even if what he said wasn't really all that significant) meant to me that we didn't have to try hard to enjoy each other's company. It was natural. I am a shy girl; I get intimidated easily. But he was always so calm, patient with me. Which did good for me, especially in those times. Colorful splashes blooming like we were as well. The painting turned out to this rainbow paradise; A paradise that only me and him existed in. What an interesting moment in time. It felt like forever but time was actually flying by. I didn't even notice it, or cared; I didn't even care if I got in trouble with mother for coming home late. I wanted to be with him forever.
We put aside our colorful landscape to dry, and he turned off the lights of his room and turned on his lava lamp. We found ourselves laying on his floor; in his glowing room, listening to ambient music. We then looked at each other; he leaned in to my face. We kissed. He looked at me, his eyes; he was gorgeous. He then smiled again, and kissed me again, and again, and again. We didn't really stop until I had ten missed calls from mother; even then we didn't really stop. We ended up rushing out of his orange love temple,and went straight home. We parked infront my house and looked at each other. "Next time I see you, I'll give you the painting", he said. "Alright", I responded. He kissed me one last time. I got out of the car fast and rushed into my house. What a night; but was it perfect.
Even with all the scolding I had to deal with from my mother, I wasn't upset; I was still mesmerized by shelby; It was worth it. Beautiful moments you can cherish and maybe paint potraits of? Yes, It definitely was worthwhile, and unforgettable. A wonderful time.