IELTS 2: In some nations, citizens favor purchasing a home over renting property for some reasons

IN SOME COUNTRIES, OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE.
WHY MIGHT THIS BE THE CASE? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE SITUATION?

In some nations, citizens favor purchasing a home over renting property for some possible reasons. This essay will consider why this is the case and whether or not this is valuable.

In my own opinion, the most powerful motivator urging people to own a home is the innate desire for stability that is inherited from antiquity to today. Being a homeowner provides a guarantee for one of the most important human basic needs - shelter. To illustrate, the homeowner will feel more secure against unforeseeable obstacles in the future such as unexpectedly losing the job or suddenly suffering a fatal illness. Moreover, many people see home ownership as a profitable investment. Property prices typically go up on a yearly basis. Therefore, they will profit from selling it or earn passive income from leasing property. As proof, my retired relatives were able to afford the living expenses and tuition fees of my cousin in 7 years due to the value of their rental properties.

Nonetheless, home ownership can bring considerable downsides for both individuals and society. Prospective homeowners will struggle to save for a deposit and be burdened with monthly mortgage payments. Failure to make house payments on time can ultimately result in losing their home. Furthermore, it's truly formidable to balance mortgages on the property against other living expenses for many years. For society as a whole, there has been a negative trend. Higher demand for possessing property can engender house price inflation which makes the situation even worsen for potential buyers, especially those who are on low incomes.

In conclusion, aspiration for stability and consideration of investment opportunities are key factors behind the favor of home ownership, but despite these benefits, there are many serious problems.

Your first paragraph did not accomplish the task of providing a proper discussion overview for the reader. You also did not properly restate the original topic since you exchanged "important for most people" with "favor purchasing a home". There is a difference between the two references. Additionally, you did not give an answer to the given question but rather, you just restated the discussion instruction. In fact, you even presented the wrong writing instruction, just as you made a mistake with the prompt restatement. The question was if the topic was a positive or negative situation. You indicated that the discussion will focus on whether or not the discussion is valuable. Wrong discussion point of view reference. You will not receive a passing score for the TA preliminary score as you did not meet the requirements of the paragraph presentation. The overall discussion is therefore incorrect. The essay you wrote is not aligned with the expected response requirements. You misunderstood everything about the discussion topic and response instructions. This will receive a failing score.