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'neat and tidy'; Students who can keep their rooms organized are sure to succeed


tofel201304 1 / 1  
Jan 28, 2013   #1
Topic:students who can keep their won rooms organized are morely to succeed

I really appreciate that students who can keep their own rooms organized are more likely to succeed for which can develop a diligent habit and obtain the ability of being independent, make a better impression on others and build a harmony relationship, handle troubles with a perfect order and increase study or work efficiency etc..

First of all, some obvious advantages of keeping rooms organized for students include both a diligent habit and the independence ability. For instance, one who wants to have a clean and tidy room will get up, maybe, at six o'clock every morning, while other students still fall asleep. After many times, it will help us acquire the unconscious repeat without doubt and have an industry personality. If a student formed a habit of waking up earlier than others and did more house and living things by himself, he would get rid of idle, become independent and have more time to study, as the old saying goes, "The early bird catches the worm ".

Not only is making rooms orderly beneficial to one's growth, but also is useful to leave others a better impression and build a harmony relationship. By keeping a room organized all the time, the student will be regarded as a clean-cut, gentle and attractive man and lots of people are willing to visit his room and be his friends, such as other students, teachers etc., so that he have the chance to improve splendid social contact. All of these are the step-stones for a successful man.

In addition, students who keep their own rooms far from mess have another advantages, including the ability to deal with complex and boring things, especially annoying troubles. For example, facing a mess room, a student, who is used to organizing his room, can promptly find out which one is most vital and which thing needs to be done first. Therefore, handling troublesome comes across in the future may be not very difficult for whom have clean a mess room many times. Also keeping one's room organized involves the benefit that a student has a high study and work efficiency. For instance, the chaos and disorder can be turned into neat and tidy efficiently within half an hour, so can the study and work.

Although there are many ways to be successful, the more organized we students keep our rooms, the more likely to succeed.

Aliyev 3 / 7 2  
Jan 28, 2013   #2
I really appreciate that students who can keep their own rooms organized are more likely to succeed for which can develop a diligent habit and obtain the ability of being independent, make a better impression on others and build a harmony relationship, handle troubles with a perfect order and increase study or work efficiency etc..

The whole sentence constructed improperly.Try to divide into parts.Meaning is unclear.

The evidence in 1st supporting paragprah is not good.I see no realtion between clean rooms and getting up earlier.Try to find something different.

You have some punctuatuion mistakes:

Although there are many ways to be successful, the more organized we students keep our rooms, the more likely to succeed.

the more organized we, students, keep our rooms.

Check everything one more time!
Good luck.
dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Feb 1, 2013   #3
tofel201304:
I really appreciate that students who can keep their own rooms organized are more likely to succeed for which can develop a diligent habit and obtain the ability of being independent, make a better impression on others and build a harmony relationship, handle troubles with a perfect order and increase study or work efficiency etc..
The whole sentence constructed improperly.Try to divide into parts.Meaning is unclear.

Aliyev is correct.... Your whole introduction is just one sentence. Do not have such long sentences. Introduction should introduce your topic and inform your opinion to the reader. This is what I suggest;

Some people say that students who keep their own rooms organized are more likely to succeed in life. I too agree with this idea because such students are more self organized than others and by being so they are more focused, less stressful, know their priorities better and think before they act. These are a few of essential skills that one needs for success.

First of all, some obvious advantages of keeping rooms organized for students include both a diligent habit and theindependence ability.

... what do you mean by independence ability? It is something confusing to the reader... Do you mean they are more independent than other guys?

build aharmonyharmonious relationship

facing a messed up room
OP tofel201304 1 / 1  
Feb 2, 2013   #4
I take your point and thank you. And I doubt that there may be some other faults,especially the logy between paragraphs and sentences. Could you mind giving me more suggestions?


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