It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. IELTS task 2

learn about the various cultures by traveling

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

We can learn about different cultures through books, films and internet, making travelling to other places for a similar reason less important. I do not agree with this statement as cultures around the word represent the identity, emotions and a way of life of its people that can only be understood by experiencing it first-hand.

Reading books, watching movies or the internet cannot tell us everything about different cultures and traditions. For instance, the smell, flavour and texture of food cannot be explained without tasting it. Travelling introduces people to a new way of life through languages, habits and traditions. While one may be able to learn about different languages spoken but to truly understand the dialects, tone and accent one has to be present in that place. There are certain customs and traditions that are not permitted to be recorded by anyone and can only be witnessed by the people present.

Text, media and internet do not always provide a true and accurate account. They are the interpretations of a third person or persons experience which may be biased. An author is likely to negatively portray certain cultures if he/she does not agree with their practices. In addition, movies have limitation on how much information they can display in the set time. Similarly, most websites on the internet can be accessed and edited by numerous individuals. This makes their validity and accuracy questionable.

In conclusion I believe, it is only by visiting the actual place and its people that can authentically learn about the various cultures.

@ishaha
First of all, I see you make mistakes using articles and you should add commas to some places.
Second, I find that your views are not tight to defend your thesis.
Thirdly, I find your essay structure unreasonable as the introduction is too long in comparison with the conclusion.

You have to learn to divide your thought process into individual sentences. That must be done so that you can meet the minimum 3 sentence requirement per paragraph. You could have presented the original prompt and response as follows:

The information highway, mass media, and printed materials allows everyone to go on learning adventures without having to leave their homes. So, it appears that globe trotting is not longer required just so people can experience other civilizations. I cannot agree with this statement because traveling offers a learning experience that 2nd hand learning cannot offer.

By offering a clear representation of why you disagree with the statement as the main purpose of your discussion, you will be able to present a clearer prompt paraphrase and response. This gives the examiner a better idea of how well you understand the English language and your ability to represent your sentiments in your own words. Your version does this to a limited extent. You have to work better on your vocabulary usage and synonyms in place of the keywords from the original presentation.

In the second paragraph, you made it clear that the topic sentence is about how reading about travel and actually experiencing it are two different things. You used the example of food for this part. After you mentioned food, you did not offer a supporting explanation to justify your example. You instead went on to offer other topic sentences, all of which do not have a supporting explanation. So the examiner will score this as an under developed paragraph, leading to a low C&C score. When the discussions do not connect in the paragraph, it is not coherent and not cohesive in presentation. Only one topic is required, supported by examples and reasons to make your point with clarity in the paragraphs. The same issue exists in the third paragraph, further lowering your C&C score in the process. The total essay will be deemed under developed and little explained. You did not even pay more attention to one section of the explanation than the other, so the discussion is truly problematic.

There are also GRA issues with your essay which, I believe, will not make a difference because you are not presenting a good essay in the first place. Work on the clarity of your explanations first. Then we can worry about your GRA scores.