I write this arguementative essay for IELTS Writing test. Although I know my wrriten English is poor, I still want to improve it. Thanks for correcting my writing.
Question:
The government is responsible for protecting a nation's cultural identity. Thus, more people believe new buildings should be built in traditional style. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
My writing:
Whether modern buildings should be replaced by traditional buildings is a frequent topic of discussion when people talk about the government takes responsibility of protecting a nation's cultural identity. I'd like to compare new buildings with old buildings before presenting my own opinion.
The supporters of modern style claim that it is the sign of development which cannot be reversed. First of all, modern buildings provide functions which are not possessed by traditional buildings. For instance, emergency exit and digital subscriber loop inner wall are basic and necessary parts of new buildings, whereas traditional ones cannot have these functions which are the necessities of people in modern life. Secondly, modern buildings are more economical than traditional ones in terms of space. New buildings are designed to exploit each inch of land because land resources are becoming less and limited, in contrast, old buildings do not make good use of these resources. And the third, modern style keeps the pace with the world. In other words, new buildings represent that local people have opening mind and accept new cultures.
The supporters of traditional style suggest that it is the only to keep cultural identity. For one thing, those buildings play a vital role in handing down historic heritage and traditions, for children and young people can learn their past and traditions from traditional buildings which are the evidence of history. For another, traditional buildings could be a symptom of cultural identity which attracts the world and further provides opportunities to locals.
General speaking, I personally consider that "traditional versus modern" is not a debate because they are not mutually exclusive. It would be a better choice that both of them work co-operatively in order to embellish cities, and it tends to develop into virtuous circle in where traditional buildings are based on modern ones and vice versa.
Question:
The government is responsible for protecting a nation's cultural identity. Thus, more people believe new buildings should be built in traditional style. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
My writing:
Whether modern buildings should be replaced by traditional buildings is a frequent topic of discussion when people talk about the government takes responsibility of protecting a nation's cultural identity. I'd like to compare new buildings with old buildings before presenting my own opinion.
The supporters of modern style claim that it is the sign of development which cannot be reversed. First of all, modern buildings provide functions which are not possessed by traditional buildings. For instance, emergency exit and digital subscriber loop inner wall are basic and necessary parts of new buildings, whereas traditional ones cannot have these functions which are the necessities of people in modern life. Secondly, modern buildings are more economical than traditional ones in terms of space. New buildings are designed to exploit each inch of land because land resources are becoming less and limited, in contrast, old buildings do not make good use of these resources. And the third, modern style keeps the pace with the world. In other words, new buildings represent that local people have opening mind and accept new cultures.
The supporters of traditional style suggest that it is the only to keep cultural identity. For one thing, those buildings play a vital role in handing down historic heritage and traditions, for children and young people can learn their past and traditions from traditional buildings which are the evidence of history. For another, traditional buildings could be a symptom of cultural identity which attracts the world and further provides opportunities to locals.
General speaking, I personally consider that "traditional versus modern" is not a debate because they are not mutually exclusive. It would be a better choice that both of them work co-operatively in order to embellish cities, and it tends to develop into virtuous circle in where traditional buildings are based on modern ones and vice versa.
