Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


"New Orleans Holiday" - A Holiday Memory -high school English essay



Vivbuie 1 / -  
Apr 11, 2011   #1
Assignment: write about a holiday memory in your family that is unique or traditional.

**I need to make sure my grammar is correct.

New Orleans Holiday
Some people may not consider Mardi Gras a holiday, but in New Orleans it is a huge celebration. My family goes to New Orleans every March for the Mardi Gras event. I have a lot of memories from my most recent Mardi Gras holiday. In New Orleans, I enjoy the great atmosphere, delicious food, and extravagant parades.

My family always stays in the Le Pavillion hotel. It is located in downtown New Orleans and has historical European décor throughout the building. My favorite part about this unique hotel is the hot tub that is located outside on the roof of the hotel. Looking over the balcony, the busy streets of New Orleans are in view. Another special thing about this hotel is that every night, at ten o'clock, they serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as a complimentary snack. The Le Pavillion makes our family's stay in New Orleans even more enjoyable.

New Orleans is known for its delicious Creole foods. A few blocks from the Le Pavillion is Mothers Restaurant. It has become a tradition to wait in the extremely long line and eat at Mothers when we go to New Orleans. Mothers cannot be judged from its outdated exterior, but it is famous for the world's best baked ham. It is a family own business and one of our family favorites. Another great restaurant is Camellia Grill which is a historical New Orleans landmark. They serve the best breakfast around and this was my first time to try it. The line for Camellia Grill was just as long as the one at Mothers so my sister and I went to the shop next door to get our nails done while my dad stood in line. That breakfast was definitely worth the wait.

Mardi Gras' main event is the Endymion Parade. I would describe it as a huge Mardi Gras party on wheels. It rolls all around New Orleans and right into the superdome. My sister and I got to stand right outside the Superdome and catch as many beads as we could. Kid Rock was the Grand Marshall and he preformed right in from of us on his float. The Krewe of Endymion is made up of all men. There was another parade called Isis that is all women. It is actually the oldest and largest all women organizations. This parade is also a lot of fun and of course throws out many Mardi Gras beads.

The worst part of Mardi Gras was having to leave; I wish it could last longer. Although we were sad Mardi Gras was over, my family left with good memories and more beads that we could count. This was a successful holiday.

butterbescotch 6 / 41  
Apr 11, 2011   #2
It was really good Vivian. I only suggest that you introduced to us what is Mardi Gras or its beads. One sentence will do.

Keep it up!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Apr 14, 2011   #3
Mothers Restaurant

You probably need an apostrophe here, right?

Add a comma:
They serve the best breakfast around, and this was my first time trying it.

Hyphen:
It is actually the oldest and largest all-women organizations.

:-)

You have nothing to worry about! You wrote this with excellent structure, excellent topic sentences... very good stuff, very clear. The only thing it is missing is a profound idea... some observation that makes the essay really meaningful. You will get an A for this, I think, but in the future make sure every essay has some kind of lesson or "moral of the story." Express your profound ideas when you write.
hopeless 1 / 1  
Apr 14, 2011   #4
Good make me want to go to Mardi Gras, include the history from the beginning till now, how it has changed, is it a family affair, a diverse mix of people.

(This was a successful holiday.) success is more about business
Write about if it was adventureous, excitement etc

Good luck


Home / Writing Feedback / "New Orleans Holiday" - A Holiday Memory -high school English essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳