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IELTS Task 1 : The Number of Library Books Read by Boys and Girls at Starmouth School

dinartika19 37 / 67 6  
Aug 19, 2016   #1
Topic :
The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relecant

The graph shows information about boys and girls who read books. They are students in the Starmouth School. It shows the trends between 2009 and the present day. Overall, the girls has had stable increased than the boys who has had fluctuation.

According to the chart, the number library books read by the boys grow up slowly from 2009 to 2011 and peaked at 2011 with 100 books. However, suddenly drop came over 20 books in 2012. On the other side, although the girls had minimal incline from 2009 to 2012, it jumped rapidly between 2010 and 2011.

In 2011, both of boys and girls had intersection point because they had the same amount books they ever read in the library after the gradual upward. Nevertheless, they had different path. The girls keep rose the books they read until get a peaked at 140. For the girls, the amount books growing from 2009 to 2012 is 125 books. It was 25 books in the beginning and 140 books in the last. For boys, it was fluctuative from 50 books, reached peak at 80 books in 2011,but dropped to 80 books in the end of 2012.

  • Starmouth School Library
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 20, 2016   #2
Hi Atikah.
These are my corrections

I agree with the suggestion of Reza. You should make introduction more simple and include the essential information.
This is the additional overview for your writing.

According to the chart, the number library books [...] it jumped rapidly between 2010 and 2011.
Initially, the girls read approximately 25 books, while the other gender started reading books by virtually twice as much. By 2012, there had been significant changes in those categories the former had increased to 140 books. Meanwhile, the latter also had risen to 80 books. Overall, there was a wide gap between those.

(Atikah, if you wanna get the high score, please you make the comparison of the figures. Actually, you have made the comparison, but you only compare the figure for the different years. You should focus on the figures. I have give the alternative sentence for the body paragraph. Please, you review those)

keep spirit

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