A number of solutions can be taken to tackle the issue of sugary beverages consumption rise

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why?

It is widely acknowledged that the consumption of soft drinks has witnessed an inexorable rise in recent years. This essay will demonstrate some reasons leading to this tendency before outlining a number of viable solutions to mitigate the situation.

There are two key causes for the rampancy of this trend namely heavy marketing and the availability of this kind of beverage. Firstly, myriad marketing campaigns are the culprits behind the rapid increase of sugar-based brinks. It is evident that the target audience of these advertisements is young children and adolescents, who are more likely to buy these products based on their popularity or attractive color. Therefore, although having known about the latent health risks, youngsters still opt for fizzy drinks as a lifetime habit. Secondly, having a can of added sugar beverage is not difficult for all ages due to the ubiquity of vending machines and retails. Instead of selling drinks with healthy ingredients that would enable a more comprehensive nutritional content, most often offer cheap beverages filled with a huge amount of sugar. These are definitely the factor compounded the circumstance.

In order to address the problem of high consumption of sugary drinks, several actions can be taken. One is that authority figures should raise taxes on the sales of soft drinks, which could reduce the reliance on consuming them. Secondly, vending machines must be removed from public places, discouraging the popularity of soft drinks in schools, parks, and cinemas, where youngsters could find these drinks easily. Finally, health awareness campaigns on media platforms should be universally intensified to help combat the promotion of soft drinks by marketing agencies, including the addition of health warnings on labels.

In conclusion, despite the considerable rise in the consumption of sugary beverages, a number of feasible solutions can be taken to tackle this issue.

In both the opinion statement and summary conclusion, the writer fails to address the reasons for his discussion presentation. Both paragraphs do not have clear thesis statements, which become the basis of the response paragraphs. The reasons must be provided in the opinion statement to establish the thesis statement. Then, it is repeated in the concluding summary to remind the readers of the discussion in short form. Both address a specific aspect of TA scoring.

In the reasoning paragraphs, the numerical order works to keep track of the discussion points. However, it does not provide a "cohesive" discussion because of the lack of proper transition. By using a transition phrase or sentence, the discussion from Point A to Point B shows a clear and direct relationship within the thesis requirements. When that happens, a higher C+C score is granted to the writer.