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The consumption of sugar based drinks is on the rise. How to tackle this problem?

Joey1805 1 / -  
Nov 26, 2021   #1

People are consuming more and more sugar based drinks.

Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

These days, it is generally agreed that the consumption of sugar based drinks has been on the rise, specifically among young people. There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions should be adopted by both the government and individuals to improve the situation.

To commence, there are two fundamental reasons that attribute to the increasing intake of sugary drinks. One reason that can be clearly seen is to maintain high concentration. It is true that consuming soft or energy drinks may help students and employees keep a conscious and clear mind during studying and working hours; however, extra digestion of these products can sometimes lead to weight related issues and other health problems. Furthermore, please alarming situation is also caused by the lack of awareness and knowledge of a healthy diet and lifestyle. Apparently, coupled with the dominance of fast food nowadays, sugar based beverages are consumed by a large number of people. To illustrate, it was once reported by the New York Times that almost 35% of US adults use see drinks every single day. This example highlights the fact that sugary drinks are becoming more and more common as a consequence of several aforementioned causes.

This upward trend in soft drinks consumption has been largely studied and several viable solutions have been found. One approach to solve this problem involves the use of educational propagation campaigns. This means that certain campaigns of healthy dietary guidelines and suggestions should be given out by the National Public Health department and supported by the government and local authorities. Also, to rectify this problem, individuals need to joins hands in order to reduce the use of these harmful and nutrient-poor products and to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle. Another way to overcome this issue is that the government should establish strict policies to impose high taxes on fast food, in particular sugary beverages. This is commonly believed to be one of the most effective way to minimize the consumption of those unhealthy products. This is because many choose to consume soft and energy drinks due to the affordable and cheap costs. Along with the increase in price, hopefully the high demand can decrease in the near future.

To recapitulate, there are various reasons in which sugar based drinks are highly consumed and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4799  
Nov 28, 2021   #2
it is generally agreed that

specifically among young people.

several solutions should be adopted by both the government and individuals

Incorrect. These are the writer's personal opinions, which are not referenced at all in the original prompt. By including these sections in your topic restatement, you will be scored down for adding your own information, unsupported by the original prompt. The topic representation is now incorrect. Never use specific references in your restatement. Keep it general in reference. No attestations, no additional information.

There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions

By using a non-responsive statement to address the questions provided, you have not provided a clear insight and opinion regarding the topic. The questions asked were to be used to create or establish your 2 paragraph discussion points. This is a summarized discussion presentation that is needed to allow the examiner to judge your English comprehension and logic skills. Answer the questions next time.

Based on these errors, the student will not achieve a truly passing score for the first half of the essay. The first half has a tendency to fail, which will affect the remaining scoring considerations when added up to produce the final score.

Home / Writing Feedback / The consumption of sugar based drinks is on the rise. How to tackle this problem?
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