THE NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE TEACHERS IN 6 DIFFERENT TYPES OF EDUCATIONAL SETTING IN 2010

proportion of teachers in both genders

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (This is the topic for task 1)
I have attached the image.

The double bar chart depicts the differences in the proportion of teachers in both genders in six separate kinds of educational level in the U.K in 2010. Overall, the higher the educational program was, the bigger percentage in the number of males partaking in these settings, contrary to their females counterparts.

With regards to the group with the biggest variation between the two sexes in nursery pre-school and primary school, the proportion of female accounted for nearly 100%, which was approximately ten times higher than the opposite gender. As for the educational level with a relatively distribution, secondary school and private training institution, the percentage of men made up a half in the former group while that of women constituted the same proportion in the latter level.

There was an even distribution in terms of college, between males and females. As for the highest educational level, the year 2010 witnessed the domination of men made up 70%, which was 50% higher compared to those who were in the contrary gender.

I appreciate all the help <3

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some gramical mistake:
line 3, 2nd paragraph : a relativet distribution
line 3, 1 st paragraph : their females' counterparts.
line 2, final paragraph: I think you should replace the word 'in' with 'on'

@Thykeppy
Hi there!

Welcome to the forum.

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My fundamental suggestion to you is that you should omit lines and words that you do not necessarily need. You have to learn how to prioritize your content, especially because you are confined within word counts. In addition to this, try using more appropriate and relevant punctuation when you are writing; this will make your essay appear more polished.

Looking at what you have now, let me revise a few parts.

With regards to the group with tThe biggest ... two sexes in is observed in nursery ... school,- with females accounting for nearly 100% the proportion of ... gender. ... a relatively even distribution, ... men made up a half in of the former group while that of whereas women constituted ...

Best of luck in your writing.