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IELTS TASK 2 The obligation to respect older people is a norm that needs to be maintained and taught



darwin25 1 / -  
Sep 26, 2020   #1

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people



The obligation to respect older people is a norm that needs to be maintained and taught. The ability to show respect is considered justifiable behavior and vice versa. However, nowadays, some young people show disrespect for older people. This essay will discuss the major causes and effects of this problem.

To begin with, the lack of respect for older people mostly because comes from the lack of emphasis on teaching the younger generation regarding this matter. The inconsistency of thinking and point of view among them also contributes to this problem. Along with the development of technology and science, education becomes more focused on the ability to master these things and is often not balanced with moral education. This has made many young people ignore social and moral values. Next, the tendency of the younger generation to frequently use technology is often considered negative by older people because they deplore it and assume that as not a healthy habit. In response, young adults or teenagers will be exasperating. Besides, some things are considered good by older people but are not considered good by the younger generation and vice versa.

As the result, if the younger generation does not show adequate respect for older people, there will be deterioration of moral values and social fabric which is likely to continue to the next generation. People will find it difficult to respect others and social and moral values will be ignored. Also, family and friendship relationships will not be going well. If family relationships are not able to be harmoniously established, it will greatly affect the children. The circle of moral decay in society will continue to rotate and get worse if it is continued.

To conclude, the antipathy for older people does occur in many countries. Even so, this situation should not be tolerated. People should do their best so the righteous habit of showing respect to older people is maintained.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Sep 27, 2020   #2
You need to provide a direct representation of the original prompt in the paraphrase section. It would also help your TA score more if you provided a direct response to each question rather than simply indicating what you will be discussing in the essay. That would help increase the C&C section of your score since you will be giving an outline of your upcoming discussion paragraphs, thus proving that you fully understood the question and are capable of offering quick responses to the questions. These presentations will combine to help increase both the TA and C&C scores right from the start. It will give your essay a strong launching pad score-wise.

You managed to provide several reasons and results in your reasoning paragraphs. None of which are properly supported with personal knowledge, experience, or public information. There is no example to illustrate any of the reasons provided. Your presentation paragraph is therefore under developed. Don't give me several reasons, give me several supported reasons. Or, in this case, one fully developed reason as the prompt instructed. Give me the reason, the basis for the reason, an example of the reason in action, and a quick explanation of why that example is relevant to the discussion.


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