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IELTS Writing Task 2 about how to obtain cross-cultural understanding



amazimicha 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2021   #1
It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films and the Internet.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



There is a growing recognition that intercultural understanding is of tremendous importance to anyone's success amid polarized times. However, the question of how to adopt such assets remains a source of constant debate. A school of thought holds that traveling is redundant, while obtaining knowledge through other forms of media such as books, films or the Internet is far more efficient. Much as the latter approach possesses certain validity, but educational benefit of travelling is simply irreplaceable.

It is understandable why people argue that acquiring cultural understanding via media is one of the most optimal methods. The key rationale is that the news from every aspect of life such as politics, cultures and entertainments all over the world are ubiquitous on the Internet, which is accessible to almost all people, especially in the light of technology advancements. For example, the flourishing of film industry contributes enormously to our aspiration of exploring both national and alien traditions, as a plethora of movies has vividly depicted the whole society and people's life of each region. Furthermore, not everyone can afford the enough time and budget for trips to different destinations, so a fertile source of online information is unarguably more cost-effective.

Notwithstanding the paramount advantages of media platforms, I am convinced that travelling is a more holistic approach. In other words, one can immerse in authentic culture and gain firsthand experiences during an overseas trip, while newspapers, books or social networks sometimes can impart false messages, biased perspectives or even over-glorify image of a country, which might ingrain prejudices and misunderstandings. At the same time, there are numerous facets that are hard to visualize via verbal description or visual aids such as social conventions or standard manners. In Western lifestyle, for instance, people customarily keep a certain distance from each other when having a conversation, where as in other cultures, the closeness of physical distance is taken as a sign of mutual trust. This is a testament to the role of travelling as a catalyst that cements one's cultural knowledge.

As outlined above, while the significance of media for cross-cultural acquisition is irrefutable, I believe there are several positive impacts of travelling that should be given equal consideration.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 29, 2021   #2
The writer has totally changed the central discussion topic by changing the topic and reasoning points in the restatement. As for the discussion response, the writer neglected to meet the discussion requirements as well. The writer did not deliver the response in the required format. In fact, the with wrote a response that created a totally different opinion response. The essay is not writing task accurate at this point. Earning a failing score in terms of English comprehension skills.

The question to be responded to is :

Q : To what extent do you agree or disagree?
R : ... educational benefit of travelling is simply irreplaceable.

The writer offers a response basis but does not offer a question response first. The response is inaccurate due to the incomplete response presentation. A clear opinion, based on the response format must always come before the opinion reason.

Being a single point of view discussion, the writer must avoid giving a valid reason for the opposing point. An opposing discussion can only be used as a topic sentence. The writer should show why the opposing reason is invalid based on his opinion. The writer did that once, rather than twice in this discussion. Present a debate, not a supporting reason.

The lack of an actual response / opinion will score down this essay. There is an implied opinion in the third paragraph, but it will not be enough to help this essay gainer a passing score due to other word usage and GRA problems in the presentation..
OP amazimicha 1 / 1  
Jul 30, 2021   #3
Thanks a lot for your feedback!

Let me know if the last sentence of the introduction can be replaced by "To a certain extent, I agree with this view; however, I would argue that travelling also plays a fundamental role in approaching other cultures."

My purpose is to write a neutral essay, what should I do to improve my essay in a neutral way?


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