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IELTS Task 1: Occupied and available types of living accomodation in London

cao1km 8 / 16 5  
Sep 17, 2018   #1

London's accommodation used by 25-year-olds

Task: The pie charts and the table show the types of living accommodation occupied by 25-year-olds in London during the 1990s and the 2010s, and the availability of different types of accommodation in London during the same two periods.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

My writing:

Looking at the chart and the table mentioned, it's can be obviously seen London's accomodation types used by 25-year-olds and available during the periods 1990s and 2010s.

As for the occupied accommodation types of 25-year-old Londoners, the rate of shared house and shared flat in the 2010s was higher than the one in 1990s. Young residents have trended to move out of parents' houses and together with other people rent and share an accomodation but chose less to live alone.

There was also changes in the available housing in London in 1990s and 2010 onwards. In the both two mentioned periods, 3-(or-4)-bedroom accommodations were more available than 1-(or-2)-bedroom houses or flats. Flats and houses had the similar number of usable ones in both periods. However, since 2010, the number of available 1-(or-2)-bedroom housing has been much smaller than the larger accommodations. The number has been also less than the number in 1990s. The reason for this can be the trend to live in smaller accommodations instead of the larger ones.

According those information, the data about available and occupied housing has some changes. Understanding those changes and finding out the rules can have benefits for the parties involved.

P/S: This is my writing for IELTS Writing Task 1. For me, this is always the hard part because of the time limit and the difficulty in selecting information to describe.

Hope you can give me some comments and tell me the score I may received. Thank you for any help.

Tuanhuynh - / 2 1  
Sep 17, 2018   #2
I have some suggestions as below. And you may consider to use noun after preposition.

he rate of shared house house-sharing and shared flat flat-sharing in the 2010s was were higher ...

There was were also changes in the available of housing in London in between 1990s and 2010 onwards.
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,804 2614  
Sep 18, 2018   #3
Hang, there are major problems with your presentation because you failed to identify the proper information for presentation in your opening summary. The opening summary is the outline of the discussion that you will be presenting in the 3 body paragraphs. part of the requirement for the opening summary is an identification of the information that you will be discussing. Assuming that the reader will not have any access to the illustration, since you are writing a report about the images you were presented, then the information to be presented in the first paragraph are as follows:

1. Type of image or images presented
2. Measurements used
3. Measurement representations
4. Discussion purpose
5. Trending statement

The 5 subjects listed above can be mentioned in the essay in no particular order. Let me show a sample of how I would have presented these information for a more effective opening summary:

This analytical report will deal with the measurements representing 2 surveys regarding the living arrangements of 25 year old people in London during the years 1190 and 2010. A comparison analysis of the pie charts will be done representing those whose residential status is either alone or shared in a house, flat, or with parents. A chart has also been provided to compare the available housing in the same area starting from the 1190's - 2010 onwards. These are measured as 1-2 and 3-4 bedroom houses.

There are 2 trends to be derived from the presented measurements. For the 25 year old's residing in London, the 1990's and 2010's showed that more of them lived alone in flats. As for the available housing, both the 1990's and 2010's showed that more people lived in 3-4 bedroom homes.

The main problem with your writing is that you are still in Task 2 writing mode. Meaning you are trying to create an opinion and discuss it within the essay instead of simply reporting the facts as they come from the images provided. That is why you are finding it difficult to create the Task 1 essay. This is actually the simplest essay to write because all of the information you need to present and how it should be presented is given to you in the instructions. You just have to take the obvious data and present it in this instance.

I hope my example above can help you develop a better writing style for yourself with your next essay. I do not feel a need to score this essay for now because you did not do a good job at it and I want to give you a chance to show me your actual Task 1 writing abilities now that you have an example of how to write this essay.

Remember, the summary tells you how to write the body. That is the only guide you will need. The instructions already tell you what information to report about based on the images. Just write about what you see, don't try to form an opinion, but you can analyze the information for comparison purposes when such things can be done.
Legecy 4 / 8 1  
Sep 18, 2018   #4
I have some suggestions for your grammar.

it's can be it may be a typo but the 's is not needed
or you may change to
it is contained the data of
Young residents have trended to ...
It was a trend among young residents to move out of their parents' houses

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