IELTS; Offenders should be sent to prison or not?

One who break the law or commit a crime is considered as a criminal.In many nations the misfit are kept in prison .Some argue that people who commit minor crimes should not be send to prison .This essay establishes that people who commit minor crimes can be used for the welfare of the society. Proponents of this view argue that people who commit minor crimes must be used for community work .for example,officers should make them clean public toilets or else they should be forced to plant trees in barren land .If they are given a second chance they can realise their mistakes and it makes them aware about the consequences of commiting crime.this method can be used as a deterrent chainiv young criminals who break the rules to imitate their heroes. On the other hand,offenders like murderer or drug traffickers must be kept behind bars.If they are given a second chance they would not use is properly as they are inborn criminals .These people should be given long term imprisonment .However,these offenders also can be used for the betterment of the society.Open jail is an example of this where the prisoners are allowed to be free under the supervision of police officers and they can work in the prison like cultivating crops,cattle rearing and catering services .These foods and crops are then sold in the local market in comparatively less price. In conclusion,I personally believe that petty criminals should be given a second chance for rehabilitation ,where serious offenders should be kept in jails and must be allowed to work for the society in the prison as mentioned above.

I think you should try and link the sentences and make them sound more cohesive. Try to make them flow :)
Overall, i like the way you think. good job.

Your essay structure is not in line with the one that is expected for this task. You need to have at least four paragraphs that include your introduction, two body paras and the conclusion.

Hai.dumi will u please say how can i make cohesion and paragraphing .any say whether i have answered for the question or not

Alright.... you need to separate your paragraphs clearly. As a hint, I'd advise you to have one blank line in between the paras to improve your presentation. :)

Introduction- Introduce your topic and state your opinion.


...this part is pretty good for the purpose of introducing your essay. Tell the other side of the argument too. And then state your opinion as to whether you agree or disagree or take a moderate stance. Then your intro is complete.