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Olevel: Internet/Computer harm or not?



Chim Can Cook 10 / 23  
Feb 6, 2011   #1
Some people say that the Internet does more harm than good. What is your view?

To majority of teenagers and working adults, the Internet has been regarded as one the most innovative achievements of humankind. Since the Internet was invented, many factors of people's daily lives have been greatly improved such as communication, trade, researches and so on. Besides, there also appeared the bane effects that the Internet has brought about like pornography and hackers. However, I strongly believe that Internet does more good than harm for the various reasons.

First of all, communication all over the world has been considerably improved thanks to the Internet. With the widespread availability of messengers and social networks like Yahoo and Face book, people can easily communicate irrespective of their geographic locations. Moreover, communication through the Internet is much cheaper and more convenient than via telephone. In addition, the tool like Skype allows netizen to see each others' faces while chatting, which is vastly preferred by majority of users. Furthermore, this means of communication is also applies to the business contact. In case of flight delay, for example, the CEO cannot come back on time for the meeting; the company may have the discussion online.

Secondly, the Internet is one of the key contributors to the Global free trade. When the transnational corporations want to open business in the other countries, they first have to contact partners in those countries before officially making a deal. In such case, the Internet certainly does a great job. The same benefits are applied to people's daily lives. With the omnipresence of online shops, many people are able to save their precious time shopping. Instead, they have more time to do other important things such as helping their children do homework or having a short visit to their parents' house.

On the other hand, objectors of the Internet argue that it spoils the young generation by spreading pornography and violence, which is considered rampant nowadays. There is no doubt that pornographic websites and violence videos are ubiquitous online, but whether the young is spoilt by it depends on the young themselves. Owing to the continual warning of using the Internet on many cyber education programs, the youths are supposed to know about all the boon and bane effect of surfing webs. Thus, once they have heightened awareness, there is likelihood that they will not be attacked by cyber hackers. What is more I that there is a variety of information for their researches on line. Instead of spending hours of flipping over hundreds of books in the libraries, one may easily obtain necessary documentation within a second of mouse click.

Similar to any other technological inventions, the Internet has both pros and cons; nonetheless, its benefits far outweigh its harms. With recent upgrading Internet security software and substantial improvements on its use, I am firmly convinced the Internet is more a blessing than a curse.

Can you please rank me upon 100? Am I able to get 75?

MrTom 6 / 13  
Feb 7, 2011   #2
I think you of course you can get above 75. Since you mentioned the major benefits of Internet and use specific examples to support your viewpoint. Besides, you compared the harm with the benefits reasonably. Good Work!
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 13, 2011   #4
I think you should say research instead of researches:

...research, and so on.

Besides, there also appeared the bane effects that the Internet has brought about like pornography and hackers. However, I strongly believe that Internet does more good than harm for the various reasons. (Right here, add a thesis statement that tells the main theme or concept of your essay).

First of all, communication...

No need to capitalize here:
...to the Global global free trade.

Right here, it is supposed to be PLURAL: by spreading pornography and violence, which is are considered rampant nowadays.

The ending is excellent! I'm sorry, I don't know how to rank it. I think you probably will pass, though! You write at a high level of skill.
OP Chim Can Cook 10 / 23  
Feb 14, 2011   #5
Hi Susan,
Thanks for your comments. But about my introduction, do you mean i have to list out the three benefits i explained afterwards: communication ,trade and information?
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 22, 2011   #6
Yes, that is what I mean. But it is not my favorite way to write a thesis statement. My favorite way is to think of a sentence that expresses the whole truth of the essay. For example, if someone was not going to read the whole essay, how could you make your point in a single sentence?

But in this essay, it is really a good idea to use a list, just as you mentioned.

...does more good than harm for the various reasons because of it's facilitation of communication, trade, and the sharing of information.
trenkins 1 / 4  
Feb 28, 2011   #7
Well written! The arguments and rebuttals are all excellent!
Keep practicing(: Are you from 4/H? I'm from 4/C!
You can add a statement at the end of your first and second arguments, to link back to your stand, making your argument stronger, and tells the marker clearly that you believe strongly in this.

I like your conclusion.
OP Chim Can Cook 10 / 23  
Feb 28, 2011   #8
HI Janine, I am from 4A. As I am a foreigner, I need to work hard on my English.Thanks for sharing your opinion.:P


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