Stress is a serious problem
Title: In some societies, stress is now regarded as a major problem, and it is thought that people suffer from more stress than they this in the past. However, others feel that the amount of stress people have today is exaggerated. They say that previous generations were under more pressure, the idea of suffering from stress did not exist. Discuss both these views and give your opinions.
Nowadays, stress is a serious problem that is spreading in many societies. While some people believe that there is a lot of pressure than in the past, others argue that in the past the life was stressful but the people accepted it. I completely support the latter argument.
All ages even young people have stress in their lives. For instance, the employers give their employees many tasks and difficult targets to be achieved in a short time.Therefore the employees work under pressure for a long time every day or they could lose their jobs. Also, the teenagers suffer from stress too.For example, the market is very competitive, so the teenagers should get high scores in their studies and took several courses.
In the past, the life was so difficult for people as there were no facilities that present today. For example, in their homes, they didn't have all the equipment that people take for granted now such as fridges, microwaves, oven, and washing machines..etc. Also, in factories, there were no machines and most of their jobs were done manually.Moreover, there was a deficiency in the medications so the patients suffered and the mortality rate was high.
In conclusion, people today suffer from pressures different from that present in the past. In the past, people didn't complain from stress and accept their life, however, in recent years the people talk about it.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,531 3447
Manar, this is not a single opinion essay. This is a comparative essay with a personal opinion discussion. So your approach to the discussion is wrong and will affect your final score. Due to your inability to properly discuss the prompt as required, your TA score will only be a 2. That means, that even with the proper consideration and improved scoring for the remaining 3 criteria, you will still not pass the test. The English comprehension section that the TA scores is approximately 50% of the overall score. Fail that and you will most likely not get a passing score no matter how hard you try. The reason is simple, you proved that you do not have the proper English understanding skills with which to be judged as a possible student candidate in the country. Here is where the mistake happened that affected your score:
Original Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your opinions.
Your response: I completely support the latter argument.
The reasons for the failing score should be more than evident to you based on the above presentation. Your total essay discussed only your point of view instead of both points of view prior to your own opinion. There should have been 3 body paragraphs here composed of :
Par. 2: First point of view
Par. 3: Second point of view
Par. 4: Personal opinion
That is not what you provided so it is more than likely that your essay will only get a final score of 2 since you barely responded to the task.
I believe that you should make your sentences longer as that what they are looking for as far as i know so for example
... in a short time and therefore the employees ...
too. space? For example
There are so many words you can use instead of Also. In addition, Furthermore, Apart from that etc.
You should avoid using etc at least say and others or and similar