Hello everyone! ^^
Please kindly help me to fix my writing (IELTS task 2). I usually have a problem in task response of IELTS writing.
Do you think my explanation has answered the questions? I'll wait for your feedback.
Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?
Traveling has been a lifestyle which is more favoured today. Most of people, both young and old, do like to travel especially going to a famous destination. No wonder that people generally need to have an enjoyable time or a different experience after doing many tiring activities day after day. Furthermore, information about a great place for holiday can be accessed easily. It also makes tourism business is growing quickly so and giving some benefits for the local economy. However, some people argue that the tourists can give some bad impacts to the place that they visit to.
In my opinion, it is really true that the holiday's area can get some disadvantages because of tourism activities. Public sometimes watch on the TV about a national news showing some facts about tourists' bad habits that damage the environment around the tourist attraction. People can see so much rubbish defiling the beaches, the plants and flowers picked by the visitors, the tourists eat and drink then throwing its trash carelessly and many other things that can harm the environment.
Moreover, the visitors sometimes have no attention about the local culture in the vacation place. For instance, they make a party that making much noise and disturbing the local, they are kissing casually in front of public (as we know this is unusual manner in some east countries) or even they dress up unseemly. Certainly, slow but sure it cause a cultural shift and make the local influenced by foreign cultures.
Therefore, it is important to the tourists to look for information about the destination place before visiting them. They have to learn first about what they can do and what they can not do in the vacation area, also try to adapt with the local cultures. Besides that, they have to keep the environmental cleanliness and not to ruin the beautiful creatures around the tourist attraction, indeed.
Hi Ashela.
I have read your writing closely. In this moment, I only focus on the substance of your writing.
Ashela, you are very brave to describe much information which actually were not essential. I mean that you will fight the time in the real test, so you harness that as well as possible. At the first paragraph, you create many sentences about tourism. However, you did not mention your opinion clearly about true of the statement and your solutions to reduce the impact of the tourist. Those are important because both relate to the task responses.
Turning to the first body paragraph, you did not pay attention to the task response. The question wanted the writer to explain the detrimental effect of the tourism for the destination country. You have described the information, but those have been explained detailed. It is like the data list, but those were encouraged by the supporting sentences.
aloha ashelarisa48, below are my suggestions
1st paragraph
Traveling has been(you should better use simple present tenses)a lifestyle which is more favouredis a more favoured lifestyle today. Most of people, both young and old,(it is not needed) do like to traveltravelingespecially going to a famous destination. No wonder that people generally need to have an enjoyable time or a different experience after doing many tiring activities day after day(this sentence have not completed yet) . Furthermore, the information about a great ...
It also makes tourism business is growing quickly so and giving some ...
... that the tourists can give(cause) some bad impacts to the place that they visit to.
2nd paragraph
In my opinion, it is really true that the holiday's(the resort) area can get(avoid the common verb in spoken language such as get) some disadvantages ...
Public (add "noun" after "adjective") sometimes watch on the TV programs about athe national news showing (...) damage the local environment around the tourist attraction .
3rd paragraph
(overall, you'd better explain the right way visitors do in order that your essay could be more sharpened)
4th paragraph
(the last paragraph is usually used for conclusion)
