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Online education is becoming more and more popular. Discuss about their advantages and disadvantages

Selina3010 1 / -  
Oct 23, 2022   #1

pros and cons of online education

In recent years, online education is becoming a new phenomenon with increasing participation rate. It cannot be denied that this trend brings lots of specific benefits for both students and schools but also has negative influences on them.

There are several reasons to say that distance learning is a trend worth becoming popular. Firstly, applying an online course helps students to minimize time and space spent for learning when compared to traditional education. For example, students can save time commuting from home to school and vice versa, to learn more courses and study anywhere with just an internet connection and a seat. Secondly, the cost of online education is always cheaper as the result of cutting infrastructure investment costs, leading to attracting more students to participate and increasing sales for schools.

In contrast, there are some problems that online learning is not effective enough than traditional learning. First, it reduces the focus on the lesson, which makes the learning results not as expected. In fact, we can even surf Facebook or play chess while taking an online lesson because the teachers only controls through the computer screen without knowing if their students are really absorbing knowledge or not; which reduces the effectiveness of studying and directly affecting student's score. Second, distance learning has a serious impact on communication and social relationships of both students and teachers. People need to socialize by meeting face-to-face while online learning only allows teachers and students to meet each other indirectly through the internet, it will gradually lead to social anxiety disorder and inhibit personal development.

In conclusion, it is hard to compare whether online education brings more advantages or more disadvantages because they always have its two sides. A balance between online education and traditional is necessary because students need to be fully developed instead of focusing on just one aspect.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Oct 23, 2022   #2
Since online education is already an existing phenomenon, it is incorrect for the student to structure the introductory sentence as

is becoming a new phenomenon

. As it is currently occurring, The phrase should have been presented in current form: ... has become a new phenomenon. That said, the restatement is still acceptable enough as it kept the original reference to the topic. The restatement of the writing slant is also very much acceptable for this presentation as it presents a writer's opinion, without being a direct writer's opinion, which is a unique way of indicating the thoughts of the writer. It will definitely be considered during the overall paragraph scoring.

Now, both advantage and disadvantage paragraphs are well presented and discussed. However, proper example presentations would have added to the scoring considerations. Both would have done well to present an example based on the writer's personal experience and the use of first person singular pronouns. The discussion does ask for examples based on the writer's personal experience and knowledge, so group pronouns should be limited or avoided in this presentation.

For additional improvement, the writer should also consider better connecting sentences for the presentations. Transition using subject focus rather than simple transition words or phrases for an increased C+C score. Without it, the paragraphs lack cohesiveness. How the 2 topics connect with a commonality in the presentation is lacking and will be looked for by the examiner.

As far as the conclusion is concerned, it was okay up until the part where the writer indicated a "balanced solution" since the original prompt did not ask him to present a solution or suggest / recommend an action. That will score down the conclusion as it prevented a proper 2 sentence reverse paraphrase presentation from being achieved.

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