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IELTS TASK 1: Online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand - very convenient transaction


aflah15 32 / 18 4  
Feb 3, 2016   #1
A breakdown of proportion of internet-based trade for different four commodities in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013, a 10-year period is presented in the pie charts. Overall, it is immediately apparent that the largest growth has occurred in the film or music sales, while clothes become the most unpopular products in online shopping.

In 2003, people who bought film or music on the internet shops showed a medium percentage, at 21% and increased significantly in 2013, by 12%. Similarly, the rate of books sales had an upward trend although in the first year costumers did not interested in this sector, at less than a fifth of the total as the smallest number but there was a slight rise to 22% in 2013.

Turning to other commodities, travel and clothes. Travelers found online transaction very convenient, at over a third of online sales came from travel services. However, the proportion decreased gradually by 7% in another year. Interestingly, the greatest drop appeared in the amount of clothes. By 2003, it presented the second largest well-known commodity in online commerce, at approximately a quarter of the total but in the following decade, it fell considerably at 16% as the lowest number in this year.




dynaranjani 27 / 24 18  
Feb 3, 2016   #2
A breakdown of proportion of internet-based trade for different four commodities in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013, a 10-year period is presented in the pie charts.

I think you do not need to write both of those timeline in one sentence, choose one

Overall, it is immediately apparent that the largest growth has occurred HAD OCCURED in the film or music sales, while clothes become BECAME the most unpopular products in online shopping.

Remember, this is in past

In 2003, people who bought film or music on the internet shops showed HAD a medium percentage,...

...the rate of books sales had an upward trend, Don't forget to put comma here although in the first...

...in the first year costumers did WERE not interested in this sector...
INTEREST is not verb, and if you put 'ED' in the end of the word, it turns out to be an adjective

Travelers found online transaction WAS very convenient, ...


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