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Opinion that making money is the only one of a business' goal, so a businessman should focus on it



ashelarisa48 36 / 47  
Sep 5, 2016   #1
The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?


An opinion said that making money is the only one of a business' goal, so a businessman should focus on it. Actually, I cannot agree with that view because money is only one of the outcomes of the business. The most important thing that should be noticed is building trust of public through the enterprise quality improvement.

There is a big gap between a company which has an orientation on money and other which focus on the quality improvement. If money is expected as the main purpose of business, the businessman tends to allow all means, good or bad, to produce more and more money. It will give some disadvantages for others, for instance people often hear about a company which damages an environment only for the sake of profit, or about an enterprise which gives unworthy salary to their workers because giving more salary is considered decreasing the profit of the company. This type of company, at first they will get much money, but after that, it usually cannot survive for a long time because they lose the public support.

In contrast to the business which pay more attention to the quality improvement. They will try hard to give a best product to public without damaging the environment because they focus on the ways to build the public trust. They will learn more and more about how to manage the resources, treating their workers well as giving the salary based on their workload, and preparing to face various posibly challenges in future. This kind of company, at first they cannot make profit fastly, but sooner or later they will be more stable and can survive everlasting. They succed to collect public trust, both the society and the workers.

In conclusion, money is not the main point of a business. The most essential thing of building a company is the enhancement of quality in oder to form peole trust and give advantages for human life. If it is carried out seriously, the company will get more profits not only money but also sustainability of the business.

akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Sep 5, 2016   #2
Hi Ashela.
Let me help you again based on contents of your writing.

I have read this essay closely and found that you are supposed to focus on the prompts of the statement. In the introduction paragraph, you have successfully demostrated your ability to paraphrase the statemen given. It is the simple introduction, but you are able to cover all.

Turning to the body paragraph, you have sliped away from the task achievement.

f money is expected as the main purpose of business, the businessman tends to allow all means,

You should explain why some think that building the business is related to getting the money. However, you reviewed about the effect of that matter. Please, you pay attention edges of the task achievement. You don't spend your energy to mention something far away from the topic. I think you can do if you wanna make brainstorming.

damaging the environment because they focus on the ways to build the public trust

Ashela, honestly, I am confused. In the second body paragraph, It looks as if you compare between the company which concentrate to the money and the quality. You can demonstrate describing a topic well. However, you are free of the prompts. I personally believe you have the ability to explore and analyze the idea, but you did not find keyword of the statement in this moment. You are supposed to review why the owner does not focus solely on income. perhaps, you can offer the key factors to build the business, not comparing the companies.

Hopefully, these can help you.
I still believe you will master this skill. You need practice more and more and keep your spirit. Please, trust me, wait and see you progress. You are going to be surprised.


GOOD LUCK
:D


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