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Task 2: outdoor activities benefit more than computer games



Caroline23vk 1 / -  
Aug 8, 2021   #1
Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



It is true that these days, a large number of children are predisposed to computer games as a way of recreation after an exhausting period at school. Some argue that engaging in outdoor activities is more beneficial for the development of children than playing video games and I strongly agree with this school of thought.

On the one hand, there are compelling reasons why playing computer games should be deemed detrimental for children's development. Chief of these is that this kind of entertainment may involve inappropriate scenes, especially violent ones that can take a toll on children's perception. These days, game-making companies tend to provide gamers with more special tools used for battles, leading to more violent fights in games. The corollary of such action is that children are likely to behave brutally to people around them in a similar way to fighting against their rivals in games, leading to higher risk of committing offences when they grow up. In addition, prolonged exposure to screen may result in certain health problems, including obesity and worsening eyesight, which has increased in recent years.

On the other hand, it is unequivocal that physical activities bring various benefits. First, taking part in outdoor activities enables children to develop social skills. This is based on the fact that by playing sports which involve teams such as soccer or basketball, children are able to enhance their teamwork skill. Furthermore, by engaging in real conversations with their friends when playing, they can not only develop their communication skill but also enhance the relationship with their peers. Added to this is that outdoor activities also prevent children from experiencing a sedentary lifestyle, empowering them to work out as well as helping them to avoid contracting bone-related diseases which would be brought by such a lifestyle.

In conclusion, considering various impacts of computer games and outdoor activities in terms of health problems and social skills, I believe that the latter are far more advantageous for children and such activities should be encouraged more widely in the future.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Aug 9, 2021   #2
The writer is not being asked to give an opinion about the topic. There was no need to cite a truth that altered the discussion topic/ target. He must not make unnecessary references in the restatement as that action alters the restatement by offering an unexpected opinion.

The writer has a strong supporting assessment of the topic provided. Therefore, 2 supporting reason paragraphs must be used to prove his point in the witten debate. Indicate a perceived benefit of video games. Explain the benefit as the supporters all it. . Then, in the same paragraph, tear down the topic in support of your reason. strongly oppose it with valid reasons. That is how one recieves a high score with this prompt.

In this case, only the paragraph related to the opinion is scorable. It will not be enough to overcome the scoring problems to recieve a passing score.
heyima - / 3  
Aug 10, 2021   #3
leading to higher risk of...
->a higher risk/ higher risks

exposure to screen may
->screen.. have

empowering them to work out as well as helping them to
->..empower....help


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