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Task 1: Outokumpu Share Price Between 2006 and 2010


fariz10 13 / 18 2  
Jan 18, 2016   #1
The graph shows the Outokumpu companies' price sharing in the beginning of 2006 to 2010. Euro is used for the measurement. Overall, it can be seen the Outokumpu's sharing on the price trend was fluctuated and it peaked the highest rate in the middle of 2006 period.

Initially, Outokumpu share price stood at 13€ and it gradually increased till the middle of 2006 which it peaked at 31€. Following years, the share price fluctuated up to December 2007. In the end of 2007 also shows the Outokumpu's rate peaked the second highest stock after achieved it in a year ago.

In contrast, 2008 experienced dramatic decline in Outokumpu's price sharing. It hit a low of approximately 7€ in May 2008. There was a slight rise in price rate in 2009 after hit the lowest rate. In several months later, corporation's price sharing decreased slowly in June 2009 and it was fluctuated to the end of period.




Pey28 8 / 13 1  
Jan 18, 2016   #2
Halo Fariz

your introduction have an ambiguous information:
- in the beginning of 2006 to 2010
but overall it was a good job.

Overall, it can be seen that, the Outokumpu's sharing on the price ...

In second paragraph, you put an informal word, and it can be better if you use another one:

Outokumpu share price stood at 13€ and it gradually increased till the middle of 2006 which it peaked at 31€
amrillahmk31 15 / 17 2  
Jan 18, 2016   #3
price sharing

i think, it is not precise to use price sharing. you can use Outokumpu's stock price, it could be better

in the middle of 2006 period.

please check once again the graph, it was not middle of 2006, but at the end of 2006

In the end of 2007 also shows the

yo did not put the subject in here. it would be better. at the end of 2007, Outokumpu's stock price showed....
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 18, 2016   #4
You should practice better word choices. The previous responses were correct when they advised you to use more complex words. Keep in mind that the correct word and term usage will also increase your score chances in the actual test. I have made some suggestions of my own below within the corrections to your essay report.

... Outokumpu companies' COMPANY STOCK price sharing ...
... sharing on the price trend was fluctuated ...

...which WHERE it peaked at 31€.
THE F following years...
Int The end of 2007 also shows...
... the Outokumpu's rate...
... peaked AT the
...stock PRICE after achieved it in a year ago .

...experienced A dramatic
... in THE price rate...
... after hitTING the l
In several months...
... THE corporation's price ...
... it was fluctuated...


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