Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents.
Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.
Parenting is hard to master. For this reason, some people argue that children should be taught to be good parents by sending them to school's formal training. While this helps schoolchildren understand how to make responsible choices in family structure, I would argue that children should cogitate about how to gain academic attainments and leadership skills instead of learning this issue.
A school plays an important role to take formal training because it is a legal trusted institution. This becomes a good option as parents own less time to mother their children so that school's formal training is more appropriate to master them. On the one hand, School has an integrated syllabus which can encourage children to have a good habit. In a consequence, students are able to understand a qualified culture which supports them to be responsible parents in the future.
In contrary to this, children should independently learn how to obtain an academic achievement and leadership skill. Both of them lead students to be good parents because an academic attainment becomes a strong motivation to gain a bright future. Likewise, leadership skills is more essential for children to manage a family structure in the future. In my point of view both skills should not be learnt at school's formal training.
The aforementioned evidence reveals that although school's formal training helps students understand how to be caring parents, schoolchildren have to learn how to achieve an academic performance and own leadership skills which are more useful for making a responsible family.
Parenting is hard to be master.
thisit helps schoolchildren understand ... AThe school plays an important role ThisIt becomes a good option as parents ... On the one hand,Meanwhile School has an integrated syllabus ...
-pay attention for your pronoun
- i suggest you to make a conclusion in the last paragraph..
This is a little bit correction for you,
... children should be taught to be a good
parents parent by sending them to school's formal training a formal school.
... understand how to make a responsible choices choice in family structure, ------> actually I am a little bit confused while reading this sentence, I think you should simplify this sentence to make the reader easier to understand it.
... important role to take a formal training because ...
Hope this helps