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parents go abroad for work with their family.



ammus1 10 / 29  
Apr 15, 2014   #1
IELTS some parents tend to go abroad for work with their family. Does the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Thesedays,more and more people are emigrating to overseas for better career and life.Although this development has both positive and negative outcomes, I personally believe that the benefits of people working abroad is far higher than the drawbacks.

Primarily, people are offered good remuneration in abroad compared to their home country, which is very essential for them to look after their family properly.In India,for example,nurses get a very less salary.whereas,in theUK they are not only well paid but also they get some respect and value in the society.Moreover,some parents wanted to give a better education for their children.so they move from their native place to abroad for the better future for the children.Thus they can study in famous universities such as oxford and cambridge.Also,people want to settle in a country with good weather because in some countries people are facing lot of problems such as drought and other health related problems.so living and working abroad is beneficial for people in many ways.

On the other hand ,this development has some disadvantages too.First,living expenses in foreign countries is increasing day by day.so in order to meet that, parents are working hard and they do not get time to spend with their children,which would affect the overall development of the children.second,people have to study a foreign language in order to converse with the native

speakers.Again,people may lose their own culture and tradition and adapt the new culture and as a result people have less contact with their blood relatives in their home land.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that,the advantages of parents going abroad for work with their family is far outweigh the disadvantages and it would increase the quality of life of people.

aryaayra 7 / 16  
Apr 15, 2014   #2
the benefits of people working abroad is far higher than the drawbacks.

the advantages of parents going abroad for work with their family is far outweigh the disadvantages and it would increase the quality of life of people.

pay attention carefully with the subject before the preposition.. If there is "Plural" your nominal verb should be "are" not "is" :)
OP ammus1 10 / 29  
Apr 15, 2014   #3
Thank you for your correction, I will pay attention for that.
bora99 3 / 12  
Apr 15, 2014   #4
Thesedays,more and morepeopleare emigratingpeople tend to emigrate to overseas for betterin order to enhancetheir career and life standarts .Although this development hasbrings outboth positive and negative outcomes, I personally believe that the benefits of people working abroad isarefar higher thandominant against the drawbacks.

I think your essay can be better if you strengthen your intro.
OP ammus1 10 / 29  
Apr 15, 2014   #5
Thank you very much bora for ur correction.
Apsari 7 / 13  
Apr 16, 2014   #6
children.so

... After dots, don't forget to write in right words. >>>>children. So

I am personally believe that the benefits of people working abroad is far higher than the drawbacks.

In India,for example

... For example, In India....
OP ammus1 10 / 29  
Apr 16, 2014   #7
Thank u apsari...
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Apr 16, 2014   #8
not only well paid but also they get some respect and value in the society

Bad grammar in Correlative Conjunctions.
To learn more, visit this link: grammarly..../handbook/grammar/conjunctions/4/correlative-conjunctions/

First,

second,

When you write firstly, secondly, lastly to mention supporting points , I am afraid that you are overusing the linking devices. I think the better way is to avoid using lots of the connective words. If you think that you need to earn coherence and cohesion, pay particular attention to demonstrate cohesion.


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