Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Should parents attend parenting training course?



Reza_Hidayat 13 / 18  
May 1, 2017   #1
It is necessary for parents to attend parenting course to bring their children up.

Do you agree or disagree?


the knowledge how to raise a child



One of the most noticeable factors which influence on children achievement is parents' knowledge. this is why some people argue that, it is good if parents join to parenting training course while the others say that it is unnecessary to follow. Personally, I think that parents should enroll the parenting training course since it has many advantages not only for them but also for their children.

Parents are the key factor which determines children's achievement. Parents are responsible to educate their children due to the fact that parents have to get involved to parenting course. By following that programme, parents could learn many things which connect with children improvement. For example, when they are merging that programme, they will be provided much information regarding common problem is related with children difficulty like learning process, then they also will learn about how to tackle that problem so that they will be easy to recognize their children problem, and they know what the best solution for that. As a result, children will get a proper result and good performance in the class.

However, for workers parents, it is difficult to join in parenting training course for they have no much time for that. They tend to concern on their work so that almost all their time is spent on working. Furthermore, they are more likely to hand over their children to school as school are responsible to educate the children due to the fact it is unnecessary for them to join the parenting course training.

All in all, I think that parents should be actively involved in particular course such the parenting training course since it could extent their knowledge about children improvement. They play big role to determine their children's achievement.

Ahmadham 4 / 11  
May 1, 2017   #2
Hidayat, you need to know that Thesis Statement in body introduction is a general answer of the given question. This part also determines your way of describing the issues. Once saying that you ' I PERSONALLY ARGUE THAT PARENTS SHOULD ENROLL THE PROGRAM, it indicates your in full agreement with the PROMPT. For this reason, your body paragraph either one or two should confirm your position. Addressing both sides does not fit with your thesis and therefore you are failed to meet the task achievement. Let me correct your Thesis statement.

This essay argues that while the limitation of time will make parents difficult to follow the training program, I tend to believe that it should be attended by them as they are the closest party with their children.
akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
May 6, 2017   #3
Hi Reza, I reckon you have needed improvements for finalizing your essay. Please meet my notes and review them so that you don't fall in the same mistakes.

1. Pay attention to delivering proper words. Besides, you have to know how to put the verb. For example, if you wanna use the word "join", you don't need preposition like "parents join to parenting training course". Well, you might wanna evade repetition, but you are supposed to consider the context of using those words. Keep in your mind that the lexical resource is the essential point, but you don't make another hole in using improper words.

2. For your thesis statement, you directly mentioned many advantages which you mean so that you can briefly describe what you will explain in the body paragraphs. You only required underline of those.

3. Be careful of using the conjunction because that can change the meaning. Make sure what you write is what you mind. In the second sentence of the first paragraph, you should pick up the word "so that", not to present "due to". Please, double check your sentences so that you can lessen your mistakes.

4. You created the compound sentences, but you forgot to place the conjunction. Besides, you made the so long sentence in the fourth sentence of the first body. Avoid that in order to make the good flow.

5. Actually, your big problem is your position. I have not found your position clearly in the essay. It's better if you state whether you agree or disagree. Focus on the question because that influences the task response.

Hopefully, those can help you to enhance your ability
GOOD LUCK


Home / Writing Feedback / Should parents attend parenting training course?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳